Envy: Prov. 24:19-20. Nov. 26. 2006

Proverbs M11 Envy, text Proverbs 24:19-20
Big Idea: We can overcome envy as we look up to God and ahead to eternity.
He’s happily married to a woman he is attracted to and loves. He works as a high school teacher and coaches the senior girls’ basketball team. He makes a modest salary, but he likes his work. He lives in a reasonably good neighborhood and his children attend public schools that are considered above average.
All in all, he considers his life… pretty good…
(If this scenario bears any resemblance to someone you actually know, that is purely coincidence)
The man receives an invitation to attend the 20th reunion of his college graduating class. Curious as to how his classmates are doing, he attends.
He discovers that some of his university friends, who didn’t outshine him academically as an undergraduate, are in more prestigious and better paying jobs than he is in.
He notices that some of his friends’ who weren’t as popular in college as he was, have spouses who seem more sophisticated and others have spouses that seem more sexy and dress more provocatively than his own partner.
He learns some of their kids are attending elite, private schools.
As he sits on the plane coming home, he has this gnawing sense that he doesn’t quite measure up… He wonders, “Am I a failure?” He asks himself whether he “settled” when it came to picking a marriage partner. He begins to doubt whether he is providing his kids with an adequate education.
Nothing, of course, has actually changed his life… but as he compares himself to his peers who by “society’s standards” are better off envy rears its head and sucks the joy out of his life….
This morning as we continue our series in the book of Proverbs, a book of wisdom, we’re going to look at the nature of envy, how it hurts us, and how we overcome it.
Envy is considered the most pervasive, but least admitted to of the 7 deadly sins…
Envy seems to be experienced at some level by almost everyone, but we don’t want to admit we’re envious because it makes us seems so petty.
Envy begins from the time we are very young…
We envy kids who have nicer toys—she has Play Station 3 and I don’t, we envy kids that are prettier or get invited to a party we didn’t, we envy kids who get better grades, kids who get more first place ribbons on sports day…
You might think we might outgrow our envy… but envy shadows us throughout life…
As adults we can envy people’s education, careers, status, net worth, stuff, appearance, partners, families, children...
Envy, as we’ve noted, is the most pervasive of the Seven Deadly sins, but least admitted to…
It may be that at some level we struggle with envy but are in denial…
Envy can be expressed in different ways.
If it bothers us that someone else in our field succeeds ahead of us… that may be a sign of envy…
Sir John Gielgud the gifted British actor who specialized in Shakespearean roles, said in very candid autobiographical piece, “When Laurance Olivier played Hamlet, and critics raved, I wept.”

Do we ever have a hard time when someone in our field is recognized in some way? It’s understandable if it bothers us if someone in our field is honored and they don’t deserve it… but if the person who is honored really does deserve the honor…and it bothers us, it’s likely we’re experiencing envy.

Conversely, do we secretly rejoice in someone else’s downfall? It’s one thing to be glad when a business person is caught for insider trading or a teacher is caught having sex with his high school students… they had it coming to them! We think. But are we secretly comforted because of the failure of someone who’s a pretty good person? It’s a sign of envy.
We see a person in Psalm 73, wrestling with envy… He sees that many of the wicked were prospering… they have sleek, healthy bodies, they don designer clothes….
They’ve amassed a fortune, largely because of their unscrupulous business practices… The Psalmist envies them… he thinks my being a good guy, playing by the rules have gotten me nowhere… except a run of bad luck. He asks, “Where’s God? Is he out for lunch? No one seems to be minding the store.”
The man then says (in vs. 21) my heart became grieved and my spirit embittered with envy…
Envy is joy sucker.
Other sins destroy us too, but at least there is some enjoyment to them…
There can be pleasure in expressing anger, a kick to succumbing to lust, and it can feel good to surrender to the sin of sloth, being a lazy bum… but there’s NO pleasure in envy. It just eats away at us…
According to Proverbs 14:30 it rots the bones…
Professor Solomon Schimmel notes that envy is like hissing hot coals or like poison spreading through the body (think of the image of Russian spy who was poisoned and died)…
Vincent Foster was an aide to President Clinton. Part of the reason he took his own life was revealed in a suicide note he wrote. In a note found in Vincent Foster's briefcase after his suicide: "I was not meant for the job in Washington… Here ruining people is considered sport." It’s miserable to envy others and it’s miserable being in such an envious climate that people have resort to tear other down.
If you have a Bible please turn to Proverbs 23:17
This part of the Proverbs is an anthology within the Proverbs called the 30 saying of the wise. The father yearns for his son or daughter to know these truths deeply with both their mind and heart.
Proverbs 23:17:

Saying 15 Do not let your heart envy sinners, but always be zealous for the fear of the LORD.
The father says don’t let your heart envy sinners but always be zealous for the fear of the Lord.
He’s saying don’t envy sinners and people in general. Instead look to God and live in awe before God. Reverently submit to the wisdom of God’s revealed word.
In Proverbs 24:19-20 we have another important saying:

Saying 20 Do not envy the wicked, do not desire their company;
19 Do not fret because of evildoers
or be envious of the wicked,
20 for the evildoer has no future hope,
and the lamp of the wicked will be snuffed out.
One of the ways we overcome envy is to look to God and by reverently submitting to his wisdom.
Another way we overcome envy is to focus on the fact that the evil doer has no future hope (Proverbs 24:20).
In Psalm 73, the Psalmist says I was grieved and embittered when I saw the wicked prosper, until I discovered their feet were on slippery ground… and that they would one day slide into a ditch of destruction.
But the righteous have a future hope.
Proverbs 12:28 says…
In the way of righteousness there is life; along that path is immortality. 2x.
The righteous person may experience suffering, but they have a future hope… and eternal joy that awaits them.
When the Psalmist enters the presence of God he realizes that while the wicked will vanish like a dream, those who walk with God will be taken up to glory.
So how does looking up to God and reverently submitting to His truth help us stamp out envy?
How does focusing the eye of our heart ahead to eternity help us overcome envy?
When we focus on God’s truth and on eternity we will see what is truly valuable.
If we understand what is really valuable we can overcome envy.
The great teachers answer the questions “Who is truly well off? “Who is truly wealthy?”
Jesus in Luke 16:15 said what is highly valued among people is not necessarily valued by God. He said what is highly valued among people may be detestable to God.
Some times we envy others because we think they have something really valuable when in fact it may not be.
What we think is really valuable may not be valued by God.
For example, people tend to think that material wealth, status, or physical appearance are all really important… none of these things is highly valued by God…
What we think is really valuable may not even be valued by the person who has what we value and envy and, ironically, they may value what we have.
The cliché is true: the grass is often greener on the other side…
A person who is a social worker may envy his sister who is corporate executive because she makes a six figure base salary plus a stock option and has a job that is considered powerful and prestigious.
The “successful” sister, however, may envy the brother who is a high school teacher because, his life seems less stressful and he has more time for friends and family than she does.
My younger brother has worked as an actor and playwright and as a writer and commentator for radio and television. My brother has said, “Sometimes I’ll go by a construction site and I envy the people work there… Their jobs seem more straightforward… They do their work and go home… whereas I’m wondering whether I’ll be able to come up with anything creative by my broadcast deadline…”
I wonder if some construction workers particularly when they’re working in the cold and rain would envy my brother’s work and would prefer to be on the radio or t.v.
Sometimes we experience envy because we consider something to be ultimately valuable—when it is not valued by God and perhaps not even valued by the person who we are envying.
So, part of the way to overcome envy is to transcend what the culture has to say about who is well to do… who is wealthy and to look to God and what he says is true wealth…
Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount says, blessed or truly well off are the poor in spirit for theirs is in the Kingdom of God… if we really come to understand… that lasting wealth is in knowing God and becoming instrument of His purposes… we can overcome envy…
How does the envier in Psalm 73 overcome envy?
The envier in Psalm 73 eventually overcomes envy by coming to conclusion that he has the great wealth in God:
He declares in vss. 25-26
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
And when he realizes just how rich he is in God he’s able to overcome his envy.
2) A second way to overcome envy is to resist the temptation to compare our self with someone else and embrace the uniqueness of our call.
Part of the reason the Psalmist in Psalm 73 experienced envy to begin was because he compared his life to the carefree lives of the arrogant and wicked… who seemed to have no burdens… and easy success.
In the end of the Gospel Jesus says to Peter, “I'm telling you the very truth now: When you were young you dressed yourself and went wherever you wished, but when you get old you'll have to stretch out your hands while someone else dresses you and takes you where you don't want to go." He said this to hint at the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. And then Peter replies what about John? What kind of death will he die? Jesus says, "What is that to you, ‘Follow me.’"
Like Peter, sometimes we can be preoccupied with God’s plan for someone else when God is calling us to our unique path which may not be the path He is calling your sister or brother to travel…
I never tire of quoting Rabbi Zusha who says, “In the next world, God will not ask me, ‘Why were you not Moses?’ He’ll ask me, ‘Why were you not Zushya?’”
Sometimes perhaps we want a call that involves less suffering, less waiting more “material blessing” or more glamour, more time in late November in a warm, tropical place. But God has a unique call for us, and if we belong to God he will work out everything for our eternal good (Romans 8:28).
We can overcome envy by looking up to God and resisting the temptation to compare and embrace your unique call and understand what true wealth is…
3) Be grateful.
So many people ask what is God’s will for me? A significant part of God’s call for us is to become people who give thanks. Paul in 1 Thess 5:18 says, “In everything give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”
Thomas Merton, a deeply insightful writer on the spiritual life, has said, “Gratitude is the heart of the Christian life.”
According to Gordon Smith, an associate member here and writer on the spiritual life, the most important heart posture for a healthy spiritual life is gratitude.
It would be hard to exaggerate the role of gratitude in the Christian life.
This past week I came across a story of an upper middle class man who made it his practice of taking his children to poorest slums in his city.
He had several purposes in exposing his children to the poverty, helplessness, and despair that were evident in the run-down neighborhoods they would walk through. He wanted his children to develop a sense of compassion and to develop a sense of social justice. He wanted his kids to know that to be aware of the fundamental similarity between them and people who lived in great poverty.
Then after his kids had grown up… this man said this excursion had an unintended side benefit. The trips made his kids much more appreciative of what they had in this life, so as adults they were much less prone to envy others who had grown up in affluent suburbia.
Francis de Sales says, “The immature are unhappy with what they don’t have. (They are always comparing themselves with people who seem to have more).
The mature are happy with what they do have.”
One of the parents last week asked me to pray that their child would be content.
I want to be a content person too, and a content person is a grateful person.
I often find myself praying the prayer of George Herbert. “You have given me so much. Give me just one more thing, a grateful heart.”
As we look up to God and focus on what is truly valuable, resist the temptation to compare ourselves with others and embrace our unique call…and we can become grateful people we can overcome envy.
Finally…
4) Look to eternity
Proverbs 23 and 24 calls us look up to God’s truth and look ahead to eternity and overcome envy.
Psalm 73…the Psalmist says
In vs. 17
I was beleaguered and bitter,
totally consumed by envy,
I was totally ignorant, a dumb ox
Until I entered the sanctuary of God, i.e. God’s presence
And I understood that the wicked were destined for destruction and that God would take me and all who walk with God into an eternal glory…
If you know what’s coming is the complete fulfillment of your desires, you can overcome envy.
J.R.R. Tolkien envied C.S. Lewis. Why? Because, in 1937 Tolkien had said to Lewis let’s write the kind of fiction that we really want to read. During the following 2 decades C.S. Lewis wrote Space Trilogy book I, book, II, book III, the Chronicles of Narnia books 1-7 and Tolkien kept writing and re-writing one book…
Tolkien for years kept working on a book he thought he’d never finish, because never felt he could tell the story he aspired to tell..… Toliken envied Lewis for being able to complete his books.
He wrote and re-wrote all the chapters of the Lord of the Rings numerous times because he never liked it. It was never good enough. It was never as great as he hoped it would be.
In the 1940s he got so frustrated with his artistic incompetence that he got writer’s block and stopped working on the Lord of the Rings.
One night he had a dream and wrote the dream into a story and wrote it down and afterwards he was ok.
The story is called Leaf by Niggle and it’s a story about an artist called Niggle and the town fathers commission him to do a mural on the side of the town hall. He worked on the mural for years… he was trying to paint a tree… but after all those years--all he had done was one leaf in the corner of the canvas…. The town fathers said we paid you all that money to do this mural and it looks terrible. A leaf! He said, “I’m trying, I’m trying.”

Then he died and he was on a train to paradise and as he was getting close to paradise and he suddenly saw something on a hill. He said, “Stop the train.” He ran up to the top of the hill and this is what we read, “Before him stood the tree… his tree finished! Its leaves opening, its branches bending in the wind, that Niggle had so often felt and guessed, but had often failed to catch. He gazed at the tree and he lifted his arms and opened them wide. It’s a gift he said.
Tolkien through this dream realized there is a real tree and suddenly everyone is going to see it. He thought to himself there’s a story that I’m trying to tell and of course, I’ll never get it out in this lifetime, but some day I will and some day everyone is going to see that story…
Toliken was a Christian and he believed in the resurrection. When he realized one day we would be in a place where the deepest desires of our heart are going to be met… and when we live in that hope we can handle the incompleteness we now feel and overcome our frustration and envy.
Many of us like Tolkien feel frustrated, like our life work is not being done…we have not fully used our gifts and blessed people as we’d like…

In the film version of Babette’s Feast someone says to one of the Phillipa the sister with the singing gifts for the ages whose talent was never widely celebrated because she was stuck in a small, poor village says, “In paradise, you will be the truly great artist you were created to be.”

When we realize that the yearnings of our heart that are never fully met here, will be realized in eternity, when we value what God values, embrace our unique call and cultivate a heart of gratitude we can be free of envy and live with joy.

(The sermon can be heard on line at: http://www.tenth.ca/audio htm)

The Power of Words: Prov.18:20-21:Nov.19, 2006

Proverbs M 10 The Power of Words Text Proverbs 18:20-21
It was his first day on the job. He was a new clerk in the green goods department of a super market. A lady came up to him and said she wanted to buy half of a head of lettuce. He tried to dissuade her from that goal, but she persisted.
Finally he said, "I'll have to go back and talk to the manager."
He went to the rear of the store to talk to the manager, not noticing that the woman was walking right behind him. When he got into the back of the store, he said to the manager, "There's some stupid old hag out there who wants to buy half a head of lettuce. What should I tell her?"
Seeing the horrified look on the face of the manager, he turned about and, seeing the woman, added, "And this lovely lady wants to buy the other half of the head of lettuce. Will it be all right?"
Considerably relieved, the manager said, "That would be fine."
Later in the day, he congratulated the boy on his quick thinking. He then asked, "Where are you from, son?"
The boy said, "I'm from Toronto--the home of beautiful hockey players and ugly women."
The manager looked at him and said, "My wife is from Toronto."
The boy said, "Oh, what team did she play for?"
Most of us are not as quick thinking as this kid from Toronto, but all of us have known what is like to get in trouble because of something we have said.

Words have great power. James a writer of part of the New Testament part of the Bible, says that the tongue is very small, but like the small rudder of a large ship, our tongue can set the course of our whole life.

A king asked one of his servants to travel through the whole Kingdom and bring back the item in the Kingdom that was most destructive… after some time, the servant came back into the king’s a presence with a covered silver platter. He lifted the platter and on it was a tongue. The king then asked the servant to go out again and bring what was most healing and life-giving… the servant went out and after some time, came back into the king’s presence with a silver platter with a cover and he lifted the cover and on there was a tongue on it.

The tongue has the power to hurt and to heal.

The writer of the Proverbs recognizes this and so he as one commentator observes, 1/3 of the Proverbs deal directly or indirectly with communication.

If you have your Bibles please turn to Proverbs 18:20-21
20 From the fruit of their mouths people's stomachs are filled;
with the harvest of their lips they are satisfied.
21 The tongue has the power of life and death,
and those who love it will eat its fruit.
20 From the fruit of their mouths people's stomachs are filled;
with the harvest of their lips they are satisfied.
We tend to think of the tongue as simply passing information. But as the writer of the book of Proverbs in vs. 20 the tongue creates a kind of food, that can either poison or nourish the one who eats the fruit of a person’s mouth.
21 The tongue has the power of life and death,
and those who love it will eat its fruit.
The writer of this Proverb is saying… that there are organically connected rewards associated with speech.

The person who “dishes up” something deadly with their tongue destroys other people, they destroy relationships, and their tongue ends up destroying them.

The person who dishes up something life-giving gives life to others, life to the community and receives life.

The tongue has a reciprocal, “give and take” nature to it.
21. The tongue has the power of life and death,
and those who love it will eat its fruit.
If we use our tongue to hurt we will be hurt, but if we use our tongue to heal we will be healed.

This morning, we’re going to look at the kind of speech that destroys and we’re going to look at the kind of speech that gives life.

A form of speech that the Proverbs lists as destructive is lies.

Lying

Proverbs 6:16-19 tells us the Lord hates lies.

Proverbs 12:22 tells us the Lord detests lying lips.

The writer of the Proverbs says in Proverbs 30:8 keep me from all falsehoods.

Why does God hate lies?

Proverbs 25:18 tells us that lying can be like using a club or an arrow against someone…
Proverbs 26:28 says a lying tongue hates those it hurts.
Lies involve more than simply the breaking of some kind of abstract rule, but lies hurt our neighbor…

People have asked me, what would cause a friendship with you to be damaged?

I’ve said, “Lying.” Have you ever been lied to and afterwards discovered that?

How did you feel?

You likely felt disrespected. You may have felt the person was being condescending to you, in that the person didn’t feel you could handle the truth. Perhaps you felt manipulated.

Lying also sets up a wall between the person you’ve lied to and reality. So the person is not able to make a good decision. It also sets a wall between you and the person. When you lie to someone you erect a wall distancing yourself from someone and you manage your communication with person for a place of emotional distance.

One of the reasons the Lord hates lying is because when we lie we fail to love our neighbor as ourselves—which is one of the two great commandments.

Lying also splits us.

Thomas More was a Christian man and significant leader in England in the 1500s who got political trouble for not supporting the annulment King Henry VIII’s marriage to Catherine and his new marriage to Anne Boleyn. Then More was sentenced to death because his Christian conscience would not allow him to support Henry VIII as being the head of the church… According to the play by Sir Robert Bolt's play based on More's life, More’s beautiful daughter Meg says to him, Father please recant, lie so that you can save your life…” More replies "'When a man takes an oath, Meg, he's holding his own self in his hands. like water. And if he opens his fingers then - he needn't hope to find himself again."

(Now there are certain circumstance when it would be better to break our word, than keep it, but even when that happens, it wrenches us on the inside, somehow we know we are compromised.).

Proverbs 18:20-21, tells us that the tongue has a reciprocal, give and take nature to it. When we break a promise to someone, it hurts others, but it also hurts us.

Gossip, Slander

Proverbs 20:19
19 A gossip betrays a confidence;
so avoid anyone who talks too much.
Proverbs 10:18 says whoever spreads slander is a fool.

Gossip is passing on a negative report about other people that is based in uncertain evidence.

Gossip may turn out to be true, but can still be damaging.

Slander is reporting a truth but with intent to hurt someone.

Did you hear the story of the captain of the ship, who discovered that his first mate was drunk on board? The captain said, “I’m going to have to write in ship log that you were drunk on the job today.” The first mate says please don’t write that in the log. The captain said, “You were drunk on the job, I’m going to have to write that in,” and he did. The next day the first mate wrote in ship log. “The captain was sober today.”

Two problems with the first mate’s “technically true” statement. One is that it is a technical truth with the intent to deceive which is a lie and 2nd it is a truth meant to hurt someone which is slander.

In his moving novel, The Kite Runner, the author Hosseini tells the story of Amir a boy who grows up in Afghanistan and his relationship with his father, Baba. As I recounted before, when Amir was in the fifth grade…. Amir comes home and raises an issue that his Mullah, i.e. his Muslim Holy teacher brought up regarding a particular sin…

And Baba the father responds… There is only one sin, only one. And that is theft. Every other sin is a variation of theft.
When you kill a man, you steal a life. . . you steal his wife’s right to a husband, rob his children of a father. When you tell a lie, you steal someone’s right to the truth. When you cheat, you steal the right to fairness. Do you see?’

You can steal a person’s life, spouse, property, right to truth, right to fairness, AND you can steal their reputation through gossip and slander.

Insulting….

Proverbs 9:12 says
12 If you are wise, your wisdom will reward you;
if you are a mocker, you alone will suffer.
Proverbs 20:20 says curse your parents and your life will be snuffed out. Again this can illustrates the reciprocal nature of the tongue, use to hurt others and you’ll be hurt.

As kids, many of us raised in North America learned to say, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt…” The fact is we tend to recover from the punches, the sports injuries… broken nose, we sustained as kids… but words wound much deeper, some times so deep where no surgeon’s scalpel can reach. I sustained and have recovered from a broken nose during a football game as a high school student, but when a coach mocked me in front of others for dropping passes during a practice… that still hurts. I roll my ankles countless times playing basketball in high school, I recoved from that, but I still hear word of coach chewing me out for fouling out of an important game…

Jesus knew how destructive words could be so he said…

21 "You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'You shall not murder, [a] and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' 22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister [b] will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, 'Raca, (empty head) is answerable to the Sanhedrin. And anyone who says, 'You fool!' (jerk) will be in danger of the fire of hell.

If out of spite you slam someone’s intelligence or character—you will be in danger of hell.

The tongue has a reciprocal nature—use your tongue to hurt others and you will be hurt.

Flattering and Bragging

There are other ways that the tongue can destroy.
Proverbs 26:28 b says a flattering mouth works ruin.
Proverbs 29:5 says…those who flatter their neighbors are spreading nets for their feet. Bruce Waltke, respected commentor on the Proverbs says the flatter is spreading a net for the flatter’s feet.
Again we see here the reciprocal nature of the tongue, use it to hurt others and you will be hurt.
When you flatter others, among other reasons, it’s a problem because your speech is inflated and people tend not to trust you.

Proverbs 27:1 Do not boast…

When you brag not only does it tend to put you “above others,” but it also tends to have the reverse of your intended effect… you try to impress someone, but usually it has the opposite effect.

Like the story of the army captain who really wanted to impress a new private and so when the private walked in to the captain’s office, the captain grabbed the phone said yes, Steve… I really think we should really pursue this strategy for our troops in Afghanistan, Steve I’m glad your taking my advice here… the captain then hung up the phone and said I've just given some military advice to Stephen Harper… Who are you… Oh, I’m John… What you want, John? Oh I’m just here to hook up your phone…

Also bragging can set you up for failure… if you brag about your skills in a job interview, you can set yourself up for failure on the job…

Former New York City Mayor Rudi Giuliani in his book on leadership says, “I make it my practice to under promise and over deliver… people who brag over promise and under deliver…”

The tongue has a reciprocal nature, we hurt others with our tongue and we will be hurt.


So what is the antidote to using your tongue to destroy others? Part of the antidote to pursue the opposite practice of what it is you are seeking to avoid. When the Scripture say don’t do something… the implication is that we live out the positive call of the negative. The command “Thou shalt not kill… involves the call to protect life, the commandment to not commit adultery entails the call to cherish your spouse, the commandment to not lie involves the call to truthfulness…

So, the commandment not to lie, involves call to tell the truth.

Just as the tongue has the power to kill others and yourself… the tongue also has the power to give life and joy to others and the self. Proverbs 15:4 The soothing tongue is a tree of life.

Proverbs 16:24 tells us that gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

Proverbs 10:21 says the lips of the righteous nourish many.

One of the ways we can bring wholeness through our tongue is by keeping our word.

Psalms 15 tells us that a righteous person keeps his word even when it hurts.

GK Chesterton described a promise as appointment you make with yourself for the future…

For example, when you make a promise to your spouse, it frees you to overcome being controlled and enslaved by your genes, your brain chemistry, by what society encourages…

Lewis Smedes says When a person makes a promise, she reaches out into an unpredictable future and makes one thing predictable: she will be there even when being there costs her more than she wants to pay. When a person makes a promise, he stretches himself out into circumstances that no one can control and controls at least one thing: he will be there no matter what the circumstances turn out to be. With one simple word of promise, a person creates an island of certainty in a sea of uncertainty.
In the movie version: The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Frodo Baggins (played by Elijah Wood), a hobbit, is given the unenviable task of destroying a ring in The Cracks of Doom in a dark and evil land called Mordor. His task is fraught with mortal danger.
Gandalf, the wizard, understands such a perilous journey could cause anyone to become discouraged. Gandalf encourages Frodo's best friend, Sam to promise he will never leave Frodo. Several other brave individuals accompany Frodo as well.
As the journey progress, Frodos and traveling companions face grave danger. Concerned for the safety of his friends, Frodo makes a secret decision to slip away from his friends and make the rest of the journey on his own. Frodo steps into a boat and quietly pushes away from the shore.
(show movie clip here).
Suddenly, the branches on the sloping hill above the shore begin to snap and give way to a tiny hobbit warrior. Sam crashes through the branches and onto the shore shouting, "Frodo! Mr. Frodo!"
Frodo yells back, "Go back, Sam! I'm going to Mordor alone!"
Sam is not deterred. He continues toward Frodo, splashing into the river up to his waist. "Of course you are, and I'm coming with you!"
"You can't swim!" Frodo shouts. "Sam! Sam!"
Sam tries desperately to swim out to the boat. Frodo watches as Sam begins to sink beneath the murky surface of the river.
Frodo reaches down and grabs Sam's wrist, pulling him up and into the boat. Frodo looks at Sam as if to say, "Why? Why would you risk your life attempting to swim out to me?"
A soaking wet Sam sees the question in Frodo's eyes and says, "I made a promise, Mr. Frodo. A promise. 'Don't you leave him, Samwise Gamgee.' And I don't mean to. I don't mean to."
God calls us to become people who like Sam keep their promises and when we do, we give life to others…and we receive life.

The Proverbs say don’t gossip or slander and don’t insult.

Proverbs 16:28 says repeating a gossip separates close friends.

The positive of this command is to spread good, true reports about people.

I don’t know if you watched the show Friends. But during the last episodes, Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) accepts a position in Paris to work for Ralph Lauren and she’s saying good bye to each of her Friends in person, but she’s not sure she’ll say good-by to her friend Ross in person.

Because she keeps putting Ross off in terms of seeing him… he thinks he must be the lowest on Rachel’s priority list. Then she decides she won’t say good bye to Ross in person at all. He thinks that he’s not at all important to her.

Now hypothetically, let’s say the other friends… Chandler, Joey, Monica and Phoebe say, “Ross, you’re not important to her… so get over it.” That would have been a false report, damaging to Rachel and Ross’ friendship. Or they could have said to Ross, “Jennifer cares for you so much, that it really hurts for her to say good-bye to you, she’s not sure she can say good-bye to you …it’s not that you’re least important to her , you’re the most important… that would have been a true and good report and would have helped to grow their relationship.

When you pass along a false, bad report to someone you hurt the relationship, when you pass along a true, good report you help the relationship.

The Proverbs speak against insulting and cursing people, and in favor of blessing people with our words.

Proverbs 16;18, Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

My friend Chris Woodhull is a poet and politician, who also leads Tribe One, a community organization that seeks to help young African American men out of street gangs by employing them in for profit enterprises.

Some times Christian people will ask are people really changing here, are they really getting saved?

My friend is very committed Christian, “He says, people don’t change because they think, I’m crap, they change because of the glimpse of the beauty and power with them.”

If you can hold that beauty and power before them… they can change.

I was with Angel Romero not long ago, an African American woman and former drug dealer. She talked how she first came to Tribe One meeting as drug dealer… and all her life she had been told… “You gotta change…” “You got rid of baggy pants.” You gotta change.” “You get rid of gold chains.” “You gotta change.” “You got rid of the piercing in your tongue.” “You gotta change.” At her first Tribe One small group circle meeting, the leader told Angel, you can keep baggy pants, keep your gold chains, keep your ear ring, changes begins from within… and she felt accepted and loved and her mind went to time when she was in grade two, she remembered how kind and caring her second grade teacher, how as a young child she wanted to grow up to be a teacher, so she could help others… she thought as sat in that circle… I’m not just a bad person, there’s good inside me… she began to change from the inside out… She now serves as the functional executive vice-president of Tribe One.

The priest and writer Henri Nouwen was once at a Catholic retreat and at this retreat it was clear that only baptized Catholics could take communion and so Henri Nouwen began another line for people who could take communion and he blessed by simply telling them who they were… By the end of the retreat his line was longer than the line for those taking communion. The book of Proverbs says the righteous person nourishes others by their words.

We can bless others by telling them who they are.

The tongue is inherently reciprocal, if you give life through your tongue you become alive.

Instead of flattering people we tell them, the truth.

The kisses of an enemy may be profuse but faithful and true are the
wounds of a friend. (Proverbs 27:6)

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another, As iron sharpens, so one person sharpens another.

Speak straightforwardly and in the end you’ll gain more favor.

When I was working as part of a large corporation, one of my bosses had recently become a Christian. I didn’t know him very well at the time. I noticed, when he got frustrated, he’d let profanity flow flow from his mouth.

I remember approaching him privately with some fear and trepidation and saying, “You’re a Christian now. So am I. I notice you swear quite a bit when you’re frustrated… not that it’s biggest deal in the whole world, but as a Christian I’m guessing you want to live and talk in a away that would commend Christ to others…”

He said oh, yeah, that’s a good point.

Several times afterwards he thanked me privately for that rebuke. He stopped swearing… As a P.S. we became pretty good friends. We skied, hiked together and traveled together. I think what he and a lot of others really want is someone who tells him the truth--even if it hurts.

When we are loving, straightforward with people at first they may not like it, but in the end we tend to gain favor.

Offer life through your tongue, you’ll experience the life of friendship.

How do we become people who offer life?

In Matthew 12, Jesus says that out of the overflow of our heart the mouth speaks.

Proverbs 4:23 tells us to guard our heart. So it is by asking God to fill our heart with his love and energy and Jesus Christ to stand as sentinel in our heart, guarding it from evil that we become people who speak words that bring life.

One of the reasons why many people don’t like the idea of public speaking is that they are afraid they would say something stupid…I do a fair amount of public speaking and I’ve said more than my share of stupid things, things I regret saying, but what I fear most is that I will say something off the cuff that will hurt people with no redeeming effect… It’s one thing to hurt or provoke people in a way that’s redeeming, it’s another thing to hurt people with no redeeming value…

In talking to my wife about this—she says if your heart is right—you don’t have to worry about spontaneously saying something that might hurt people… because if your heart is right, you just won’t…. because it’s from the abundance of the heart that mouth speaks.

So if we invite Jesus to take the central place in our hearts and heal our destructive anger (and as we talked about last week there is good anger), hate, bitterness and fill us with his love, joy and peace… then our hearts will offer life through our tongues to others and our self, for it is from the abundance of the heart that our mouths speak…

Pray…

Anger: November 12, 2006

ANGER, November 12, 2006

BIG Idea: Deal with anger wisely and become whole,
Deal with anger foolishly and disintegrate
Drama lead in by Craig Erickson (on anger)…


Whether we know it or not--we all experience anger in one way or another.

Some of us are not aware of our anger because we “stuff” our anger.

You may have grown up in a home where anger was not considered an “acceptable” emotion. So from the time you were a young child you may have been burying your anger so you could be a “good boy” or “good girl.”

Or you may have been raised in a conservative culture where if you were a woman it was unacceptable for you to express your anger… for you to express your anger as a woman would risk being labelled as being “bitchy.”

Stuffers may stuff their anger so well, they may not even be aware of their anger. In fact, stuffers tend to pride themselves for not being angry. You ask a stuffer, “How are you?” They say, “I’m doing fine” (even if they’re not).

But burying anger doesn’t get rid of it. It’s like burying toxic waste. When the canisters of poisons are buried in the ground, people often assume the problem is gone… But those canisters leak and people start to get sick… and then their symptoms are traced back to the canisters of poison that have been seeping out of those tanks…

As we know, anger can lead to all kinds of health problems… high blood pressure, heart attacks; strokes… I came across a source past week that asserted that anger is worse for your health than anxiety, sorrow, or work-related stress.

Stuffing anger can harm relationships as the person burying it is going to be more irritable, moody, and more likely to act in a passive aggressive manner—meaning they show aggression by intentionally procrastinating… by doing something for a person. You can be an active bully, you can also be a passive bully too!

There are anger “stuffers” and then there are anger “spewers”… spewers have
no problems letting their anger fly…. They will shout at people, their pets, slam doors, punch walls… but they tend to leave people, pets and things hurt in the wake of their anger…

Spewers hurt themselves… by spewing their anger…

If you find yourself yelling at people saying, “You’re killing me…”

The irony is that you’re actually killing yourself… you may be significantly increasing the chance of your having heart disease… and you may well be decreasing the span of your life…

Proverbs 29:11 says that a fool gives full vent to his or her anger, but a wise person stays self-controlled…

Have you ever felt like a fool when you just given vent to you anger?

Why do you feel that way? Well, according to Proverbs it is because you’ve just been a fool. I’ve there done that!

If you have your Bibles, please turn to Proverbs 14:29-30
29 Those who are patient have great understanding,
but the quick-tempered display folly.
30 A heart at peace gives life to the body,
but envy rots the bones.
Pray.
The word “patient” in vs. 29 here the original Hebrew means “to relax one’s facial muscles.” It’s used outside of the Proverbs 10 times and every time refers to God as being patient and slow to anger.
The person who is patient and relaxed when wronged is like God… who is slow to anger.
The person who is quick tempered, literally “short of spirit” reveals their folly.
Vs. 30 tells us that a heart at peace gives life to the body,
but envy rots the bones.
The word envy is literally “hot passion” and can be translated envy or resentment and leads to the rotting of the bones—meaning physical, mental, and spiritual breakdown… As you know and as we’ve already pointed out anger undermines our health.
Anger can hurt us and others, but not all anger is bad. Like fire anger can be a great source of energy, but like fire it can also destroy.

Some anger is justified.

As we see in the Scriptures, God gets angry… we see Jesus gets angry… if God, gets angry and Jesus gets angry it can’t be sinful as God and Jesus don’t sin.

The Bible in Ephesians 4:26 points out that it’s possible to be angry and not sin… Anger against injustice, anger over the fact that someone has been wrongly hurt are righteous forms of anger…

Not only is it possible to not be angry and not sin, it’s possible to sin by not being angry.

John Chrysostom, an eloquent preacher, in the 4th century said,

A person that is angry without cause sins.

A person that is not angry with cause sins.

Presbyterian minister Tim Keller says not “no anger”, not “blow” anger, but “slow anger. Because the Bible says God is slow to anger…. not “no anger,” not “blow anger,” but “slow anger.”

So anger is not necessarily sinful.

Anger can also be an important indicator of what is going on inside…

Anger helps us to monitor what’s going on inside us.

When your finger touches a hot element you feel pain and you pull back, pain serves as warning for you to draw your hand back… and anger can serve like that too… it serves as a kind of inner “ow” than can cause to realize that we are to pull back and appropriately protect ourselves because we’ve been hurt…

As Dr. Paul Brand points out in his book Pain: The Gift Nobody Wants points out people with leprosy don’t have “bad flesh.” They lack the ability to feel pain. Because they can’t feel pain they wound themselves without knowing it.

Anger like physical pain can alert to the fact that something is wrong and in this sense can be a gift in that it helps to make the necessary adjustment for our well being.

Anger can give us energy to work for some kind of positive end

AND AT THIS TIME I’M GOING TO INVITE MY COLLEAGUE MARDI DOLFO –SMITH TO SHARE:

I grew up in a family where I was not allowed to express anger – and it got to a point where I actually had a hard time telling that I was angry or what I was angry about – my anger was submerged because it was an unacceptable feeling.

In many ways – my inability to identify anger and to express it positively left me in a vulnerable state. Whenever I felt angry – I thought it was my fault and the way to deal with it was by changing me.

In my early twenties, I got involved with a Christian organization that was very goal oriented. People tended to be used by the organization rather than being cared for by it, and many left this ministry with their faith in Jesus shaken or destroyed. At the time I began to work for them, there was an older man – about my father’s age, who appeared to have a really radical faith committed to reaching out to people with the good news of Jesus. I really respected and admired him, but this man had a darker side. He mistreated many young people - through controlling, shaming and emotional abuse and he began to sexually harass me. Over a period of 4 years he made sexual comments and inappropriate sexual come ons to me. Now, as an adult – I think why didn’t I just stand up to him – and say Stop! At the time – I felt embarrassed, humiliated and angered by his statements but I remained silent. At first I thought that I must be misreading his comments and I tried to avoid him. Eventually the anger and hopelessness turned inward and I became depressed .
Finally, I talked to a pastor, and she told me that what he was doing was called sexual harassment and if he was doing it to me he was doing it to others. I went up for prayer at the end of that church service, and at last, God enabled me to have clarity on what was happening to me – and I felt really angry – angry that this man had betrayed his trusted position. As I began to talk to other women about it, I realized that it wasn’t just me that he was doing this to, but he was sexually harassing others as well. Now as I look back, I’m amazed – most of the other women who were sexually harassed were in their late 20’s and 30’s and none of them said anything – none of them protected me – they just avoided him and suppressed their anger.
At that point my anger burned against this leader and what he had done to me and what he had done to other women for many years. This anger gave me the energy to overcome my hesitation – and I became a whistle blower – I reported this man’s behaviour to his immediate supervisor and he was removed from his contact with staff.
My anger – had overridden my need to protect myself, to look like a good person, to worry about how this complaint would affect my reputation and enabled me to step out – to defend what was right, to stand up against corruption in the Christian community and protect other women, even women who were older than me.

This incident began a process of changing how I dealt with my anger – it enabled me to see the power for good that properly dealing with anger could have in my life, and in the lives of others. For many of us appropriately dealing with anger – will become our backbone – which will enable us to face difficult unjust situations in our lives, and in the lives of others – God will use this kind of anger to bring his justice, just as we saw in the life of Jesus as he was angered by the religious leader of the time (Matt 23) and he went into the temple and overturned the tables of the corrupt money changers.
Lewis Smedes says healthy anger drives us to do something to change what makes us angry; anger can energize us to make things better. Hate does not want to change things for the better; it wants to make things worse.


Like fire anger can be very constructive, and like fire anger can also be damaging…

Deal with anger wisely and become whole, deal with anger foolishly and disintegrate

So, we want to look at how we deal with destructive anger…

We’re going to explore four ways to deal with anger 1) one way is to identify the source of the anger, 2) a second way is to change the situation, 3) a third way is to gain perspective, a fourth is through self-care, and finally we’ll talk about receiving the love of God…

I’M GOING TO INVITE MY COLLEAGUE MARDI DOLFO SMITH TO COME AND SHARE ON INDENTIFYING THE SOURCE OF YOUR ANGER AND CHANGING A SITUATION.
After this incident - I thought my feelings of anger would go away – and I’d be okay - but I really struggled with forgiveness and with moving past the betrayal and anger that I felt. I also was struggling with God – expressing my anger towards him for letting the abuse and harassment happen to me.
It continued to affect my relationship with God and with the church. I was seeing a counselor at the time – who suggested that perhaps this incident was tapping into some pre-existing issues in my life – but I thought she was wrong. And then I talked to a prof at Regent who suggested I write a paper on anger – a spiritual mentor who said- you seem really angry and a friend – who after observing me in worship – said – I’ve never seen anyone who looks as angry as you do in worship.
I started to think – maybe I am an angry person - - as Proverbs 24 describes – I didn’t yell – or hit people or things but there was a burning feeling inside of me – I didn’t want to be angry – I was afraid that would cause me to lose friends and the respect of those around me – (I was becoming a scary person) and so I began to look at some of the sources of anger in my life.
1. first I’m of Irish/Italian descent – two cultures known for their fiery tempers
2. My Irish grandpa was a man filled with rage – I actually was in the car with him during a road rage event – when he was in his late 80’s – he was furious at a younger driver passing him – shook his fist at him and began to accelerate in an attempt to repass him.
3. My Italian Grandma – a wonderful woman who I still miss – but you didn’t want to make her mad -– for 25 years her anger burned against a sister who ‘d offended her – even on my grandma’s death bed – she would not let go of the anger.
4. Parents – who, although would not let us express anger in any form – frequently went into what I experienced as rages
5. Unexpressed feelings of fear, grief and sadness, growing up in a home that was filled with anger, control and unexpected violent behaviour
6. Choices that I felt forced to make – to never express my anger – to keep my face blank, - my feelings began to become disconnected from events and by the time I hit adulthood – I didn’t know what I felt, or why I felt it – my feelings had become disconnected from my mind and from experience.
As I began to deal with these sources of anger - grieving, inviting God into places of pain and anger, forgiving those who had hurt, allowing myself to feel my feelings, speaking out in controlled and well thought through ways when I was angry. Talking to God about my anger and inviting him to bring healing.
Even now – sometimes I feel angry and I have no idea why – I have to sit down – and think through my day – what happened, why might I be feeling this way What might God be revealing to me in this situation?
How is my personhood being violated here?
What valid needs of mine are not being met?
As I listen to my feelings of anger and respect them – I can deal with different situations and move past them.

Most of the time what makes me feel angry are not huge issues but small things that I can easily make changes regarding.
The easiest way to deal with anger is to deal with the situation that’s causing the anger. Toni and I owned a house in our late 20’s with my best friend and her husband – the situation was not working out – our communication went wrong things blew up, they were making subtle threats about taking legal action and Toni and I sold our part of the house and moved – we lost the home that we’d come to love, we lost some other great neighbours, our kids lost their friends – all when I was 7 months pregnant and Toni had just started a new company.

I was furious at my former best friend for how she’d handled the situation – but every time I saw her – at my doctor’s office, or at the grocery store she’d smile and say hi and ask me how I was doing – this made me even madder and I’d go home and think of all the ways she’d offended me and how I’d never told her and how could she fake being friendly when there was so much unsaid between us. This went on for about 1½ years til finally I’d had it. I asked her to meet me – with a mediator and we talked through our offences – we apologized for different points of misunderstanding and I was able to forgive her. After that, when I saw her my anger was dissipated – I could join with her in a friendly greeting – I don’t think that I could ever have done this if I didn’t actually deal with what had gone wrong in our friendship. In this situation we could not restore what we’d lost but we could face it together and release it.
Most of us will be unable to let our anger go until we deal with the irritant that is provoking it.
3. A third way to deal with anger is by seeking to gain perspective…
Proverbs 14: 29 Those who are patient have great understanding, but the quick-tempered display folly.
Mardi has been talking about some huge issues: sexual harassment, family of origin issues, a very serious fight with her best friend, I don’t mean in any way to trivialize those very significant issues, but as Mardi points out sometimes in our day to day life our anger is triggered by a line in the grocery store that’s not moving and we’re in a hurry or our internet provider not working when we are really needing to send a email, or someone is insulting us in some way…

Sometimes it helps to become patient by getting perspective.

Sometimes, I’ll apply business writer Suzy Welch’s “10” “10” “10” rule.

Will this matter 10 minutes from now? 10 months from now? 10 years from now?

My mother would often raise the question with us kids when we were young and even now, especially after we’d experienced some kind of disappointment or failure… will this make a difference 10 years from now? Will it make a difference in eternity…?

Sometimes when I get angry at things, I find it helpful to ask, “Will this matter 10 months from now, 10 years from now, and for eternity?”

Getting perspective can help.

3. A third way to deal with anger is through proper self-care.

In the Gospels, Jesus calls us to be wise stewards of our life and resources. Parker Palmer says self-care is never a selfish act, it is simply the stewardship of the only gift we have to offer to the world.

Self-care is applicable for all, but especially if you’re wired to “fly off the handle.”

I know I can become more irritable, angry, aggressive, if I’m under great stress and not taking care of myself. I notice I drive more aggressively, speak to people with too much intensity… Simply put, I’m more likely to be a jerk when I’m under great stress and not taking care of myself.

When I am rested, exercising, eating well, spending time with God… I’m more relaxed… and mellow…

I know someone, who was told… if you’re angry all the time on the job, it’s time to leave the organization. He felt angry on the job, but felt really called to serve there and so he began taking better care of himself in all areas of his life and his anger subsided….

Self-care is never a selfish act, it is simply the stewardship of the only gift we have to offer the world.

4. A fourth way to deal with anger is to contemplate and receive the love of God…

Thomas Friedman in his insightful book The World is Flat argues that humiliation is the most underestimated force in international politics…

He says when people are humiliated they lash out in anger and extreme violence.

Friedman says when you take the economic and political backwardness of much of the Arab and Muslim world today and compare it to its past grandeur and religious superiority…

And then combine that with alienation these Muslim experience when they go to Europe you have a cocktail of rage.

This frustration creates a feeding system of Osama Bin Laden’s cause…

If they cannot be “tall” they look for tall buildings to bring down.

Feeling humiliated leads to anger and aggression, sometime of the worst order.

Conversely, feeling loved and honored, leads to loving and honoring others.

According to Dr. Susan Philips who teaches spiritual direction at San Francisco Seminary, if you want to help people move toward spiritual wholeness one of the greatest gifts you can give them is to simply listen to their journey and uphold them in the place of their belovedness. To deeply listen to a person and to uphold them in the place of their belovedness brings healing.

When we feel loved by someone, particularly someone who is significant to us it can heal us of our anger…and in other ways too.

Thomas Merton said that great saints were not those who loved much, but those who knew they were loved much by God.

When we deeply know we are loved by the most important person ever… when we know that the maker of all things, likes you… loves you… and became a human being and died on the Cross absorbing your sins on the Cross so that you might experience homecoming with God…

You’ll become a person who is healed from anger and able to forgive even when it’s costly to do so…

Corrie Ten Boom a Dutch Christian woman who had been involved in helping to hide Jews during World War II. She was caught and became a prisoner in Nazi concentration camp. 2 years after the war, Corrie Ten Boom was preaching in Germany in 1947 and she was approached by one of the cruelest, most abusive former Ravensbrück camp guards. Corrie sister Betsie had died in that notorious concentration camp. Corrie was reluctant to forgive him, but prayed that she would be able to. She wrote that she was then able to forgive, and said for a long moment we grasped each other's hands, the former guard and the former prisoner. I had never known God's love so intensely as I did then.

Sometimes it’s so difficult to forgive and let go, but when God’s love that flows through us we can do what we cannot do on our own.

When God’s love really becomes the central focus of our life (more than our education, our job, how we look, or some human relationship) as it was for Corrie Ten Boom. When the fact we are God’s beloved becomes our central identity, we will be on the road to experiencing healing from our anger and on the road to becoming whole.

Lets pray:

Is God calling you to let go of your anger and forgive someone perhaps like Corrie Ten Boom?

After Nelson Mandela was freed and became president of South Africa, Bill Clinton asked, “I know you invited your jailers to your inauguration. You put your persecutors in the government. But tell me the the truth, were there times when you felt angry all over again?”

Nelson Mandela replied: “Yes, I was angry, but when I felt the anger well up inside of me, I realized that if I hated them… then they would still have me.” “But, I wanted to be free, and so I let it go.”

Perhaps you want to hold on to your anger… but you sense God calling you to let go and forgive… and be free… take that anger and release it to God.

(The sermon can be heard on line at: http://www.tenth.ca/audio.htm)

Loving Your Enemies: (Nov. 5. 2006)

Loving Your Enemies
Big Idea: See God in others and yourself, Jesus, and you can love like Jesus.
The story is told of man walking across… the beach and he finds a smokey bottle that’s been washed up on the beach… he pops the cork… and a genie floats out…
The genie, says “I’ve been coopled in that bottle 1400 years… I’ll do anything you want for freeing me, just one condition…. whatever you ask for I’ll give double of what you ask for to your bitter rival Frank.
So, you ask for a new Ferrari, Frank gets 2 Ferraris, you ask a condo at Whistler, Franks gets two, you understand?
The man thinks for moment and says “Scare me half to death.”
That’s not true story, but it is a “true” in the sense that people will sacrifice their self-interest to stick it to an enemy.
When I was a child enjoyed watching WWF/pro wrestling. I would get my brothers and sister to pretend to all star wrestle… tag team… me and my youngest sister and against my brother and middle sister… we’d start playing… but someone ending actually getting hit… and then they’d hit back and it would break out into a real fight… and as adults most us don’t get into fist fight, but during course of interacting with people, we may feel “you just hit me, now it’s personal I’m going to hit you back.”
It’s such so natural to say, “I’m not going to take that, I’m going to stick it to you… (Consciously or subconsciously knowing--even if it means I will more hurt in the process…”)
The way of Jesus is so counter cultural… but his counter-intuitive way is the key to life for us, for our relationships and therefore the key to world.
We’ve studying the book a book of wisdom, a book helps become competent in life.
In Proverbs 25:21 there is a passage about feeding your enemy if he or she is hungry and giving them something to drink if they are thirsty…
The apostle Paul in his letter to the church at Rome picks up on this idea and cites this text in Romans 12. Please turn to Romans 12:17ff
17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:
"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." e
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
This passage speaks of not doing what we want to do… paying back evil for evil.
But Paul does not simply float this idea out there as if it were some hopeless ideal… but he gives us a reason as to why we ought not take revenge.
In vs. 19 Paul says “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, then he quotes Deuteronomy 32:5 written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.
Part of reason we don’t need to repay evil for evil is because God is avenger—God will settle the score in this life or the next.
Some of you are saying, “I can’t believe in a God who judges, I could only believe in a God of love.”

Many people think believing in a God who judges is a very primitive.

Miroslav Volf is a theologian came from war-torn Croatia, who teaches at Yale. Some of you heard him when he spoke recently at Regent College here in our city.

Professor Volf says you can only say, “I won’t believe in a God who judges and avenges, if you’ve grown up in the quiet seclusion of the suburbs…”

You wouldn’t say you’ve been with people as I have whose cities and villages have been first plundered and then burned to the ground, whose father’s and brothers have had their throats slit, whose daughters and sisters have been raped.

He says in that kind of world, the only thing that can keep a person from taking up the sword is the belief that God will take up the sword.

Volf is saying that when we believe that God will judge the wicked in this life or the next and only then, will we be able to refrain from taking up the sword of vengeance…

If you live long enough you’ll be hurt by someone or someone close to you will be screwed over.

If you don’t believe in a God who takes up the sword, and you’re unjustly hurt by someone or a loved one is unjustly hurt, you’ll be tempted to take up the sword… maybe not literally, but perhaps with your words, or perhaps as you curse them in your heart…

Then Paul quotes Proverbs 25:21
"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." [e]
What in the world does this mean?
Does it that if we love our enemies… God will zap with fire?
As Bruce Waltke one the best commentators on Proverbs points out, the verse cannot mean that… because Proverbs never endorses sticking it our enemies.
So what does the expression mean?
Augustine, Jerome… more recently Waltke other great commentators pointed out that when we offer good deed in return for evil done… it can have the effect of creating “burning pang of shame.” Not that I know from experience, if you were to were to put hots on someone’s head, they’d turned red and if you show kindness to some in return for evil they may turn red with shame.
Ghandi was greatly influenced by Jesus’ teaching on non-violence. Ghandi just before he died said, “To our most bitter opponents we say: “Throw us in jail and we will still love you. Bomb our houses and threaten our children and we will still love you. Beat us and leave us half dead and we will still love you. But be ye assured that we will wear you down by our capacity to suffer. One day we will appeal to your heart and conscience that we shall win you in the process, and our victory will be a double victory.”
Ghandi returned good for evil and sought heaps bring coals, i.e. “burnings of pangs of shame” in the hearts and conscience of his people’s oppressors.
Vs. 21 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
I was recently with my good friend Chris Woodhull who works with African American gang members in the hood of Knoxville Tennessee. Chris says, “If you’re walking in down alley in hood and you come across a group of violent gang members… you’re best bets in terms of your survival is probably to walk toward them, and ask for some kind of help, may be directions. They may say F you. But if they can see your face and that you a human being, they’re less likely to kill you.”
You may what if I have a black belt in Karate or a gun… I could take those punks out.
There is a saying in the “hood” that you can’t kill off your enemy… you kill your enemy, their uncle, their brother, homeboy will come after you.
The only way you can overcome evil is with good…
So how do we become people who live in this counter cultural, seemingly counter human way? How do become like Ghandi and Jesus who loved their enemies…?
Some of you may say…hmm… interesting… but I have no enemies… there’s no one in my life that I’m fighting with…
You may not be fighting with anyone…. but do you have someone in your life who has hurt you or loved one in some way or someone that you envy and so in your heart perhaps--you hope they will not succeed or won’t be really happy or perhaps you secretly hope will be humiliated in some way.
Anyone that you have ill will toward, Biblically speaking… is a kind of enemy…
How do we learn to people who love our “enemy”?
How do we become who overcome evil by good?
One way is by seeing people as made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27 tells us that human being uniquely bear the image of God).
But when someone is our enemy we tend not to see them as people who bear in the image of God…
We tend to caricature them.
Like a political cartoonist we tend to exaggerate their faults and minimize their virtues.
If some one has a big nose or big ears we blow up that part of them.
(show cartoons of Stephen Harper and George Bush).
We do that in our mind…
There’s some who made agreed to do something for me 3 times over the course of a day and bailed each time… I got really mad… I’m said, “In effect you broken your word, you’re lying.”
When we feel like some is lying or not being straightforward we tend think, this guys a liar, liar!
But, if someone suggests we’re lying… we’re like… oh, no, I’m lying, I’m just more complex and mysterious I’m more like the Liberal Michael Ignatieff than the conservative Stephen Harper, I’m more like John Kerry than George Bush…
We tend to give ourselves, but not out enemy the benefit of the doubt…
When we see people as those made in the image of God… we’re less likely to caricature their vices and just write them off… When we see see God we’re more likely to see their virtues…
If we can see the ONE love in the eyes that hardest to like, we’re more likely to love them.
See God in you enemies and you can love them, see God in yourself and you can love those heard to love with strength and grace.
When we see that we are made in the image of God, we’re more like to relate to our enemies with strength and grace.
Jesus knew who he was, he knew he bore the likeness of God, as God in human flesh, so he was able to respond to his enemies with great strength and grace.
When Jesus stands before Pilate not long before being sentenced to be crucified… when Pilate asks him if he’s a King, Jesus says “I am… but my Kingdom is not of this world…” When Pilate says, “Don’t you realize I have power to free or crucify you?” Jesus says, “You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above.”

Jesus face to face with the one who will sentence him to an unjust death, responds with great strength and grace.

Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison as political prisoner on Robben Island. While in prison, he ignored any guard if he was referred to by his prison number or racial slur. He acted as if he didn’t hear what was said. He’d say, “I have a name, my name is Nelson Mandela.” He quietly demanded the guards call him by name by not responding if called by anything, but his name. Over time, the guards began to call him by name. They came to have respect Mr. Mandela. As guards came to respect Mandela, he began to exert great influence over the prison.

Nelson Mandela, though a prisoner intuitively recognized that he was made in the image of God, he responded to his enemies with strength and grace.

Dr. Dan Allender a respected Christian psychologist who teaches and practices in Seattle who for a number of years worked closely with Dr. Larry Crabb who spoke here in May, tells the story of a woman…. who strongly suspected her husband was having an affair in different city. For several years he had a habit of spending a couple of extra days in a city after his business meeting claiming he could do more work from his hotel room than at home. She had never flown on her own and had never stayed in a hotel alone, but she flew out to the city and got a room near his suite and watched until he arrived late one night with a woman on his arm.

When they went to breakfast the next morning she waited until they were seated. She spoke warmly to her husband and graciously introduced herself to the woman the other, her “enemy.” She said, “We have a great deal to talk about, but this may not be the appropriate time or place. If you prefer we can talk in private or schedule another time to do so.” Please talk about that between the two of you and I’ll wait in my room for a response. She was in great pain, but she was not hostile. Her husband came back to the room alone, and his wife made it clear that there marriage was over unless he did something radical to deal with the violations of their marriage covenant.”

She didn’t roll over and play dead, she not would tolerated being abused any longer in her marriage, but she acted with strength and grace because she knew she bore the image of God..
See God in others and yourself and you can love your enemy…
Last month, a troubled milkman named Charles Roberts barricaded himself inside the West Nickel Mine Amish School, and murdered five young girls and wounding six others. When police arrived on the scene, Roberts committed suicide. It was a dark day for the Amish community of West Nickel Mines, but it was also a dark day for Marie Roberts—the wife of the gunman—and her two young children.
On the following Saturday, Marie experienced something truly countercultural while attending her husband's funeral. That day, she and her children watched as Amish families—about half of the 75 mourners present—came and stood alongside them in the midst of their own blinding grief. Despite the crime the man had perpetrated them, the Amish came to mourn Charles Carl Roberts—a husband and daddy.
The world needs more than kind of love.
When Nelson Mandela was freed after spending 27 years as political prisoner on Robben Island, he was considered by many to be most powerful person in South Africa, and white Afrikaners were afraid he would use his power… he declared forgave people falsely accused him at his trail, all prison guards who had abused him, all people who had destroy him.
When the South African team the Springboks played the All Blacks in the World Cup Rugby final at Ellis Park in 1995, Mandela as president of South Africa strode onto the turf wearing a green Springbok jersey… controversial because blacks associated the jersey as symbol of a white power… harkening back to the days of apartheid when blacks could play on same teams whites…

The crowd most of whom were white Afrikaners… erupted with cheers…

Mandela realized that white Afrikaners would be feeling sore knowing that they had lost political power and were afraid of losing more of cherished symbols… so Mandela wore the jersey… because… wanted to send the message he was going to stand in solidarity with all South Africans…
When this happened, South Africans say that something palpable changed in the air…
We need more than kind magnanimous forgiveness of our enemies in the world.
Most are us not those Amish of West Nickel mines or like Nelson Mandela, but would want to a little more like and so change our world.

So how do we become like this?

By looking to the life one who said in the Sermon on the Mount, "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor [h] and hate your enemy.' 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven.”

Jesus not only preached about this, he modeling in his living and in his dying.

As Gospels, as the movie the Passion of the Christ powerfully portrays, when Jesus was being nailed to the cross, he kept crying out… “Father forgive them because they don’t know what they’re doing! Father forgive them, because they don’t know what they’re doing!”

When we realize that Jesus died on the cross so that the enemies of God, which according the Scriptures we all were at one time or another, could be reconciled to God, we can become people who love our enemies.

See God in your enemy, in yourself, and in face of Jesus Christ and you can love Jesus.

The night before Jesus was crucified, he took bread and broke it… and said, “This is my body given for you…and he took the cup and this is my blood for pour for your forgiveness… I will take the sin and the shame of mine enemies upon myself so the enemies can reconciled to God, experience homecoming…

Whether or not you’re member of this church, if you commit yourself to following Jesus Christ and his way… please do partake of this meal…

As you do… feed on your Christ in your heart by faith and ask him to come and live his life through you making into a person who can love their enemies.

Instruct… (gluten free)

Benedictions:

People friends taking first eve communion, if you decided Jesus and you’ve never been baptized consider following Christ in this of obedience and blessing…

Prayer person in the balcony too.

(The sermon can be heard on line at: http://www.tenth.ca/audio.htm)