How to Make a Life(Oct 5,2008)

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Message Work M4

Text: Genesis 3: 14-23; Exodus 20: 8-11

Title: How to Make a Life, Not Just a Living

Big Idea: We can be protected from over-work through Sabbath, giving money and time, and relationships.

We’re in this series on work and how our work relates to our relationship with God.

We’ve talked about how work is a gift, but the fact is many people have an uneasy relationship with work.

According to the Gallup poll that I cited a couple of weeks ago, 55% of workers say they have no enthusiasm for their job. According to that same Gallup poll, 1 in 5 have such a negative attitude toward their job that their companies would be better off if they called in sick, rather than actually coming in to work.

If work was intended to be a gift from God, why do some want to avoid work?

And why is it that others tend to over-work?

In Genesis 3 we read about the “fall” of humankind into sin.

Because men and women sinned, certain curses came into the world.

¹⁷ To Adam he said, "Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, 'You must not eat of it,'
"Cursed is the ground because of you;
through painful toil you will eat of it
all the days of your life.

¹⁸ It will produce thorns and thistles for you,
and you will eat the plants of the field.

¹⁹ By the sweat of your brow
you will eat your food
until you return to the ground,
since from it you were taken;
for dust you are
and to dust you will return."

²³ So the LORD God banished him from the Garden of Eden to work the ground from which he had been taken.

Here in Genesis 3 we read about some of the effects of the sin virus coming into the world. So it is with work. Work was intended to be a gift from God, something that God gave to human beings before the sin virus came into the world. But because of the sin virus, work has become complicated. In verse 17 we read that the ground has become cursed because of sin and “through painful toil, you will eat of it all the days of your life. By the sweat of your brow”

Work was meant to be a gift to us, but, because of sin, it can be marked with all kinds of frustration and complications. If you have you ever tried to cultivate a garden, you know how difficult it to get the lawn and flower bed just the way you want them to be, but how easy it is for weeds to come up out of nowhere.

Another of the complications that we experience because of sin is that our desires around work become disordered.

Work was meant to be a gift from God, but we can have extreme attitudes toward it. We can be lazy or we can over-work…

Monday is my day off. When Sakiko and I got married, she was shocked to see on a Monday, if we were out and it happened to be a nice day, there would be so many people on the beaches on a Monday during work hours—something you would never see in Japan. She would ask, “Aren’t these people supposed to be at work?” And I would say, “Some of them may be on vacation. Some people actually have Monday off. But it is likely that with such a nice day quite a few may have called in to say ‘I’m sick’.” According to a Reader’s Digest survey of their readers, 63% percent of people admitted they have called in sick to work when they weren’t sick.

As human beings we can be tempted towards laziness, but, on the other hand, we can also become workaholics and allow ourselves to be defined by our work.

When I was in working Japan, a phrase I would often hear was the “7-11 man,” the person who worked from 7 in the morning to 11 at night. Though technically my work day did not begin at 7 nor end at 11, my work day, in essence, began at 7:00 a.m. (because that was the time I left my apartment) and it was not until 11:10 p.m. I would arrive home at night from work. It was certainly true of Tokyo and it can be true of a laid-back city like Vancouver, that we can become workaholics defined by our work.

Even if we are not working from 7 to 11, we can make work a kind of idol, in that our identity can become too wrapped up in what we do, as opposed to who we are.

A couple of weeks ago when Penny Crosby was sharing here, she talked about how her husband Wayman was a successful entrepreneur, and she was for many years a homemaker, or volunteer Bible study leader working from home…. Whenever she would be at a party with her husband and his work colleagues, she would be terrified about the prospect of being asked the question, “What do you do?”

I was out of regular, full-time work for about 10 months, during my transition time from California to Vancouver. People were encouraging me to relax, but it’s hard to relax when you’re looking for work and wondering what you’ll do next… I had always been either a student or employed at corporation or church… it felt unsettling being this floating position.

Our identities can become too wrapped up in what we do, rather than who we are.

For a number of weeks we have talked about how working before the face of God can give us passion for our work, so that we do our work well. But the other side of the coin is that work can completely dominate us.

So this morning I want us to explore how we ensure work doesn’t become too important to us, an idol. How do we ensure that we establish not just a living through our work, but make a life while we work?

At this time I am going to invite Kevin Falk, a member of Tenth and a member of our board of elders, to come forward and share part of his journey with us:

Testimony: Kevin Falk

Personal Story

Growing up on a farm in northern BC has taught me the value of hard work.

During the summers I would work from the early morning until the mid evening cleaning the barns, feeding the animals and setting up the irrigation systems for our fields; and during the school months I would get home from school in the late afternoon, do a few chores until dinner, then homework in the evenings.

This certainly can teach a person about the blessings of hard work. But somewhere along the way I began to place my value and identity in this work.

Even as early as my elementary school days this was surfacing as a problem. I was a good student however my teachers were very concerned about my obsessive drive and extreme and unrealistic goal setting. I felt that by setting an extreme goal even if I missed the goal I would still exceed expectations. Everything was a competition to me.

As a child these outrageous goals became the basis for my work schedule – I had to achieve this goal. Almost every day I would work late into the night finishing “just one more thing”.

It is not surprising that these habits carried on into my post-education career.

Since 1994 I have founded 5 companies. I had built most of my identity around the seeking recognition and respect through the success (or failure) of these companies.

I became convinced that excessive work was the path to this recognition and respect.

From 1999 to 2007 I worked over 60 hours per week, and during some very intense periods this would increase to 80 hours sometimes including multiple trips to Seattle, or elsewhere, a week. I rarely took a vacation, and those few vacations I did manage to squeeze in included several hours of business per day.

By 2006 my companies were achieving some success, but looking back I may have begun to value the things I was controlling, instead of doing great work. The schedule I placed myself on would not allow me the rest required to be productive in the work I did. Over the years my business partner routinely attempted (first gently, and ultimately forcibly) to get me to see that I needed release control of some areas of the company in order to gain personal time and be happier and productive in the remaining areas.

As the company expanded it outgrew my ability to resolve ongoing and lingering problems by brute force and simply working more hours.

In 2006 I had begun to try to take a day a week off and realign my time priorities, however I did this half-heartedly, not delightfully. Just as we are called to tithe with a joyful heart, we are also called in Isaiah 58:13 to call the Sabbath a delight.

I would delightfully find excuses to work on my Sabbath.

I had placed my entire identity and pride in my company. This foolishness impacted my relationship with my company, friends and family. But through the grace and love of God, and the grace and love of my friends and family, these habits only ultimately cost me my pride.

In August 2007, with the encouragement of business partner, I left my company. After leaving my company, and Karla, our son Markus and I spent 2 months in Spain and I finally actually relaxed.

I now take the Sabbath delightfully every week.

If I know I’m required to work on my Sabbath (perhaps because of a conference or business travel) I will pick a different day for that week. My typical day usually involves going to church, relaxing, reading, and spending time with the family.

I recently have started a new company, and I now feel much more productive in my daily work. Amazingly also find I have also have time to travel, relax daily with my family, and read.

I rarely feel stressed out about my work and the deadlines I need to meet.

Tithing Time – Giving it Back

Honoring the Sabbath has protected me and my family from my tendency to overwork.

The practice of tithing has helped me to put work and money in perspective.

Being an entrepreneur means that Karla and I have had periods (sometimes lengthy) where I may have little or no income. In fact, during the first few years of our marriage we had very little. When I started my second company I had no income for almost a year, while Karla was a student at UBC.

However one thing that has been a wonderful blessing (regardless of income) for us is the gift of tithing, giving the first tenth of our income to God.

Thankfully I learned the gift of giving money prior to having any. I realized while in college, that if I did not start giving when I had little it would become much harder if I was ever blessed with anything.

Karla and I believe that all of our income belongs to God – when we consider supporting a ministry or a cause we will determine how much we are called to give – not how much we have.

Understandably this may seem odd, and perhaps even foolish to some, but even in times when we’ve had no income we’ve been called to give, and God has always provided.

We have been consistently blessed us through our giving. Mysteriously, before I tithed I always felt I needed more, since tithing (even when I have had little) I feel like I have enough.

I believe that through the blessing of being able to give my tithe God has taught me about the blessings of the Sabbath.

Through the blessing of the Sabbath, God has taught me to tithe my time. Therefore, I now devote approximately 10-15% of my workweek with businesses and organizations that require my services (but cannot afford them), this includes sitting on the board of Tenth Avenue.

I used to think I could substitute money for time. I used to feel that giving my financial tithe freed me from needing to be too involved in the Church. I would consider my tithe my good work and fail to give my time. Now I give both.

Part of the way we can prevent work from becoming too important… and part of the way we can make sure we have a life, and not just a living, is, as Kevin said, take Sabbath for rest and worship and for things that bring us life.

My wife says it’s important for me to sometimes waste time… and to do what I really enjoy doing: running in the woods with the dog, swimming, or sailing… these days it’s walking through the park with our baby Joe… it brings healing. Do you ever “waste” time in a way that restores you? Or is your life just dominated by work?

Kevin also spoke about giving.

Kevin talked about feeling like he had “enough” as a result of tithing. I feel the same. When I was in the corporate world, my first full-time ministry gig paid $200 and mysteriously in my soul, I felt I had enough… God always provided. I think that happened because of tithing—giving the first tenth.

Kevin also spoke about giving of his time.

Giving the first Tenth of our income is something God calls us to; we are to give 1/7 days to God as a Sabbath, but technically we’re not called to give 10% of time to serve. Kevin is seeking to do that voluntarily.

It has been said, “We make a living by what we get; we make a life by what we give”.

Part of way we make a life and not just a living is by giving, not simply our tithe, but also of our time and energy to things other our “main work” as we able.

A third way beyond Sabbath and giving time and service that we can ensure we are protected from over-work and have a life not just a living is to take time for relationship and the joy that comes from being with people and doing what we love with people, whether it is sharing meals, or connecting in nature, or enjoying life together—whatever it is.

Some companies are designed so that our companies dominate our lives, rather than our families or our worship communities.

In The Time Bind: When Work Becomes Home and Home Becomes Work, Arlie Russell Hochschild says the average worker doesn't mind that work is increasingly eroding time at home. The workplace for many is becoming increasingly comfy and cozy, while home, with its diapers, dirty dishes, and divorce, is becoming increasingly harried and hectic. More people are saying, “I come to work to relax.” The downside is that the family and friends don’t get our time or only left-over time, when we are too tired to be really present.

Our work to personal life ratio will, of course, will look different in each stage of life. As a single person it is possible to become totally absorbed in your work. That is part of the reason why many companies prefer single people to married people, or divorced people to people who are married with kids. Single people can really give all of themselves to the company. There is nothing wrong, of course, with working hard and many of you here are in your 20s and 30s. Many young adults want a fairly sharp incline on the ramp of their career track (that’s natural for that stage of life and in my view in some ways healthy). But when you reach your 60s and 70s, if you are a typical person, you will find (this is what I hear over and over again) as you look back over your life, what gives most satisfaction is not necessarily be the achievements you have made at school or at work, but in the quality of the relationships that you have. So even if you’re young and single and ambitious, take time for friends and family.

If you are married, that will also cause your priorities to shift. Right after I got married, I immediately went on my first summer study sabbatical with my wife Sakiko. I ended up going to England to work on a potential doctoral dissertation proposal. I spent too much time that summer studying (The main library at Oxford was one where you could not check books out. You can read them in the library, and if you did not have a student status there, you could not enter the library, so it created a situation where Sakiko and I were not spending enough time in the first few weeks of our marriage.) I was acting like a single person. I regret that. If you get married, you are going to get to make a shift in the way you work your work/life balance (We’re going to a sermon on marriage and singleness in the Spirit next).

Sometimes we say no to say yes.

If you have children, as I am learning, you will learn that will require another shift in your life!

Wayman Crosby, a member here at Tenth, two weeks ago talked about a time when work was going very well… He said:

I think back to a time when I was working in Real Estate development and commuting primarily to the States. My business was strong and going well but as a family we were struggling. One of my kids had some real struggles where he needed his Dad. Somewhat fearfully because work was good, I made a very major career move so that I could stay home more with my family. By the worlds standards it was a crazy move and financially it cost me a lot for a long time but I felt at the time that I had to put my career on the altar for the sake of my family. It was hard at the time but looking back now it was the right decision!

Wayman has told me in private conversation the reason he and Penny sold their vacation homes at Whistler and Kelowna was because he was seeing that other families who were part of the church, but who spent most of their weekends away skiing or on the lake, were drifting from God, and that recreation seemed to become more important than God… He didn’t want that for himself or his family.

Sometimes we say no to work, so we can say yes to something more important.

Lead into communion.

In my life I know one of the reasons why I, at times, have been driven to work so hard, is so I can “look good” the eyes of others, but even more so in my own eyes. Many of us, I know, feel anxiously driven at school and at work because we feel like we have not done enough to be a truly worthy human beings.

What the Gospel tells us is that we are not received by God, the one person matters most in the universe, not on the basis of what we have done, but simply on the basis of his love.

At times we do feel deficient, but the Gospel tells us that if we are joined to Christ, we are not just accepted by God, but seen by God as perfect in Christ—perfect, not because we have never sinned, but perfect because we have been forgiven in Christ.

When we understand that we are seen as perfect in the eyes of the one person who matters, that we have his approval, we can rest. We don’t need to anxiously work to prove ourselves.

We know that God has loved us in this way, in the person of Jesus Christ.

On the night Jesus was betrayed, he took bread and broke it and said this is my body, broken for you…