Life in teh Wilderness: Oct. 14, 2007
DAVID M5: SERMON NOTES Life in the Wilderness October 14, 2007
Big Idea: God leads us into the wilderness to test us and tie us to Himself.
TEXT: 1 SAMUEL 24: 1-7; Psalm 18: 1-3…
Sean Penn’s recently-released movie, Into the Wild, is based on the real life story of Chris McCandless.
Chris McCandless comes from a family where his parents are in a volatile marriage and place a great deal of importance on “appearances.” Chris finds this sickening. Inspired by the writings of people like Henry Thoreau, Chris engages in a quest for truth in nature. He travels to the woods of the Pacific Northwest, to the wheat fields of the prairies, and finally to Alaska. He delights in the open spaces, the fresh air and the bright sunshine. While he does not look for danger in the wild, he comes across it. But instead of turning home, Chris stays in the wild, guided by the words of Thoreau, who said, “Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.” Chris is a spiritual pilgrim who like many before him, seeks to find himself, to find truth in the wilderness.
Eugene Peterson in his book, Leap Over a Wall, says everybody, at least anybody who has anything to do with God, spends time in the wilderness.
A few among us like Thoreau, Thomas Merton, and more recently Chris McCandless choose to live in the wilderness.
Many others among us are forced into the wilderness through no choice of our own.
We may not be driven into a literal wilderness, but we may find ourselves in a “wilderness season” where the crutches of our life are removed. Perhaps we find ourselves out of a job, or struggling in school, or in a completely new, unfamiliar place where we haven’t yet found our footing. Or perhaps we experience some kind of physical challenge, or relationship pain, and we find ourselves in the wilderness. We find ourselves in a place of difficulty and loneliness and fear.
This morning we are going to be looking at why God leads his people through the wilderness. After being called to lead his people, we see that Moses spent years in the desert. After his baptism, Jesus spent 40 days in the desert. After was called by God, he more than 3 years in the desert…
And David, after being anointed as the future king, ends up spending time on the wilderness. It seems that those who are called by God are led into the wilderness.
Everybody, at least everyone has anything to do with God, spends some time in the wilderness. And as we look at David’s life this morning, we are going to be looking at why God may lead us into the wilderness, as well…
We see in 1 Sam 16 the prophet Samuel anoints young David as the new king of Israel. Before becoming king, David, while still an adolescent, conquers the arch nemesis of the people of Israel—Goliath. As a result, David became incredibly popular with the people.
Saul, the king of Israel, becomes insanely jealous of David. He tries to murder David on
8 different occasions… In order to save his life, David finds himself fleeing into the desert. He is forced to hide in the rough mountainous terrain of the desert En Gedi with a band of men—who were in debt or discontent and had gathered around David. David finds himself in the wilderness thirsty and tired and living in fear for his life, as he is being hunted down like a wild animal by Saul and three thousand of his troops….
So why is it that God allows David to experience the wilderness? Why does God allow us to experience the wilderness?
One of the reasons why God led David into the wilderness--and one of the reasons God leads us there is because the wilderness provides an opportunity for us to be tested.
If you have your Bibles, please turn to 1 Samuel 24: 1-7.
Saul is threatened by the possibility that David may become the new king of Israel. So after Saul returns from pursuing the Philistines in battle, he turns his attention toward David and begins to hunt him down.
1 After Saul returned from pursuing the Philistines, he was told, "David is in the Desert of En Gedi." 2 So Saul took three thousand able young men from all Israel and set out to look for David and his men near the Crags of the Wild Goats.
3 He came to the sheep pens along the way; a cave was there, and Saul went in to relieve himself. David and his men were far back in the cave. 4 The men said, "This is the day the LORD spoke of when he said to you, 'I will give your enemy into your hands for you to deal with as you wish.' " Then David crept up unnoticed and cut off a corner of Saul's robe.
5 Afterward, David was conscience-stricken for having cut off a corner of his robe. 6 He said to his men, "The LORD forbid that I should do such a thing to my master, the LORD's anointed, or lay my hand on him; for he is the anointed of the LORD." 7 With these words David sharply rebuked his men and did not allow them to attack Saul. And Saul left the cave and went his way.
In the wilderness, David finds himself fleeing for his life. He is hiding out in a cave in the desert of En Gedi. And as he and his band of men are hiding there, what happens? Saul enters into the cave to relieve himself. Saul was literally and figuratively speaking exposed. David’s men urge him to take Saul out—to assassinate him. David creeps up unnoticed, and cut off a corner of Saul’s robe. David is conscience-stricken because he had laid a hand on Saul’s robe and though Saul is not a good man, he is the one whom God did choose as the King of Israel.
David experiences a great test in the wilderness. And in that test, David discovers both weakness and his strength. He felt that he had compromised God’s standard for him in approaching Saul since he was one whom God had anointed king over Israel and cutting off a piece of his robe. He felt he had failed. But David showed integrity by also resisting the temptation to take matters into his own hands and kill Saul. So David, whether he recognized it or not at the time discovered his strength.
In the wilderness--we are tested and experience both our weakness and our strength…
My wife Sakiko, who was born and raised in the largest cities of Japan. She’s the consummate city girl. A couple of years ago, my wife did something that was far different from anything that she had ever done before—she spent 6 days at sea on a modest sailboat with me and a couple of others. She had never been camping before. She had never lived out at sea before. And she said that being out in the Ocean humbled her. It made her realize how small, vulnerable she was, especially when facing forceful winds and high waves. But it also enabled her to see that she was far strength than she thought she had—she was able to survive the experience and it gave her confidence.
The wilderness shows our weakness and our strength…
Jim Murphy a member here at Tenth Avenue Church voluntarily moved into the wilderness (that is, the Arizona Desert) in 2003. I have asked him to come and share part of his experience.
“I was at a point in life where everything was great—an active social life, lots of barbecues, volleyball at the beach… fun times—all part of my life in Vancouver, fun but not fulfilling. I wanted more impact on people’s lives, more fulfilling work, a more powerful life. So I left my friends and family behind to go where I knew almost nobody. I got rid of my TV and spent 2 ½ years of my life in relative solitude. No social life, few friends, hardly any dating at all, and no TV. Every night was the same, Monday or Friday no different, I’d be alone. Very difficult.
There was a particular night I remember well. I had been there about a year and I was in my room writing in my journal when I heard a noise outside. I went outside and there were fireworks in the air. It was New Year’s Eve. I was sad at first, wondering what I was doing in the middle of a desert by myself, in an empty house, in my room on New Year’s Eve, where if I had been back in Vancouver, I probably would have been with friends bringing in the New Year with a big party. Then I thought, ‘Why am I here?
Then I thought, I came here to see if I could more clearly hear God’s voice, to come face to face with who I am, whereas in Vancouver it was easy to hide behind my life and not examine my life. I wanted to live a life worth living, and not when it came time to die, to feel like I didn’t truly live. I looked around at my empty house, and thought, “who does this sort of thing? Am I crazy?” Then I smiled. Because it felt like I was pushing myself to really seek out the person I was born to be.
Henry David Thoreau’s words rang true for me: (read quote)
‘I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary.’
I struggled there in the desert. I got really depressed; I could have come home at any time and started back where I left off at work, but I wasn’t ready to do that, no matter how depressed I became. I wasn’t going back until I felt I had direction for my life—direction that was exciting and powerful… that would I sacrifice everything for.
Somehow, amidst the struggle and loneliness I discovered strength in the desert—a new confidence. “Confidence that I won’t take the easy route to decide; confidence that I am going to take risks—that I will do whatever it takes—that it is far more important I am true to my design than relative success or pleasures. I feel less attached to what others think of me. Going into solitude helped a lot. It’s like I’ve gone 2 ½ years without friends patting me on the back, or whatever. So I am now less concerned what others think, because if you think less of me for some reason, it’s not like I have not been alone before. It’s not like I have not gone without approval before.”
I also gained confidence that I was not a pawn of my environment or my circumstances. So many times many of us feel trapped in our lives, and dropping everything and going there, putting myself in that challenging situation to “put to rout all that was not life” for me was like fasting; it showed that I’m not a slave to my moods or petty wants, that I can put “first things first” and be true to myself, to not be conformed to this world and it’s mediocrity, and through it all, be true to God, so I can truly live.
Jim experienced both struggle and strength in the wilderness. The wilderness is a place where were both the beasts and beauty emerge… Wilderness has a way of testing us. Thoreau wrote, “Those destined for greatness must first walk alone in the desert. Those destined for greatness must first walk alone in the desert.”
And God allows us to experience life in the desert…in the wilderness…so that our character will be tested and refined. Jesus, Moses, Elijah, and David were all led into the wilderness. And many of the people we would consider great today Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela spent significant time on the wilderness.
And if you are destined for greatness, and if you belong to God you are, you will spend time in the wilderness. The wilderness will test you. It will show you your weakness and your strength and it will refine you. And perhaps most important of all, the wilderness will give you the opportunity to open up to God in a new way.
As David was being hunted down by Saul and his army, David came to realize that his only true refuge was to be found in God alone. This fact is expressed over 40 times in the Psalms. In Psalm 18, which is a psalm that David sings to the Lord when he is being hunted down by Saul, David cries out:
I love you, LORD, my strength.
2 The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield [b] and the horn [c] of my salvation, my stronghold.
3 I called to the LORD, who is worthy of praise, and I have been saved from my enemies.
In the wilderness we discover that God alone is our refuge, our hiding place, our shield.
Last week, I was in Boston in meetings with my friend Joanna Mockler… Joanna was sharing that her husband Colman, the then ceo of Gilette died, she woke a couple of weeks, later frozen in bed with fear… she was afraid of what the future…and these words came to mind:
I have set the LORD always before me:
because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.
Therefore my heart is glad, and I rejoices and rests in hope
.
She had not memorized these words, but they came to mind… (she later discovered they were the words from Psalm 16 and she was comforted by God…
And at this time I am going to invite Steve Fielding who is part of our community, as master’s degree student at SFU, to come and share the wilderness experience he has had and how he has found refuge in God.
First off, I’d like to thank Ken for the opportunity to share my story here today.
My story begins when I was sixteen years old, living in Winnipeg, what the locals call Winterpeg, Manisnow-ba, Mosquitoba. I was in what some might consider an ideal situation: I had good grades; ran track and played soccer at the provincial level; played piano and guitar; I had a decent part-time job; and I could rely on a strong network of friends. This idyllic balance was turned on its head. In the fall of ‘96 I decided to be baptized. My church had a custom. The person getting baptized had to choose an “encourager” to speak about his spiritual growth and offer him personal mentorship. The day before my baptism, my encourager showed up at my door with a heavy heart. He explained that while he was praying God revealed to him that I would really suffer if I went through with this baptism. He asked me if I was willing to take the risk. I said “yes,” not knowing what he meant.
Two weeks after my baptism I came down with mononucleosis.
A much more serious setback happened in May of 1997. A group of friends from school and I were spending the weekend at a cottage. The big highlight was a zip-cord line. For those who aren’t familiar, you hold on to a t-bar, which is attached to a pulley that zips down a rope. On my second run something went terribly wrong. About a third of the way down the rope suddenly jammed in the pulley. The force of a sudden stop and my momentum threw me sixteen feet to the forest floor. My lower back struck first, followed by my head. I had three broken vertebrae, bruised lungs, and a concussion. The initial recovery took two-and-a-half months. I completed high school, and then left Winnipeg for university in BC. Then my back pain returned and got worse. It became clear that therapies were not working and that doctors did not have the answers. The pain increased and I was addicted to morphine.
Within a year the pain was so severe that I could not fall asleep at night or keep food down. I was at my end. I wondered how long I could carry on like this.
To make a long story short, at my worst point my parents drove me to the U.S., where I had two successful operations. Finally, after two-and-a-half years of being in bed, I went back to school. Unfortunately, my misfortune did not end there. In the spring of 2003 I was diagnosed with Lupus. Lupus is a mysterious systemic auto-immune condition in which the body attacks it own tissue. It causes chronic fatigue, constant pain, and threatens organs.
This brings me to the present. I now battle two disabilities every day—back pain and Lupus. There is never a minute when I don’t experience pain or chronic fatigue. I have asked a lot questions the past eleven years. Why am I suffering? Why did I only improve to a point? In the Bible we see Jesus heal people 100 percent. I don’t know the answers to these questions. I wish I knew. But I’ve learned some things that I’d like to share with you.
One of the things I’ve learned is that God needs to be praised during our struggles. I remember thinking “Praise him? If this is what God wants, that’s kind of rude, and pretty insensitive actually. I can use some encouragement right now.” Although I was angry I started to read Scripture passages that spoke of His character. As I praised God for who He is, I began to experience God’s presence in a new way and his comfort In the wilderness, I discovered that God is all that I have, so I focus on Him. The other things in life—sports, fun, academics, work—can disappear in a 16-foot fall or a diagnosis.
The wilderness tests us—showing us our weakness and our strength. The wilderness ties us to God. In the wilderness we recognize that God alone is our ultimate refuge…
Pray:
Are in the wilderness—it will not last forever, but pray… faithful in the test and tied to God…
Do you others in the wilderness pray for?
(The sermon can be heard on line at: www.tenth.ca/audio)
Big Idea: God leads us into the wilderness to test us and tie us to Himself.
TEXT: 1 SAMUEL 24: 1-7; Psalm 18: 1-3…
Sean Penn’s recently-released movie, Into the Wild, is based on the real life story of Chris McCandless.
Chris McCandless comes from a family where his parents are in a volatile marriage and place a great deal of importance on “appearances.” Chris finds this sickening. Inspired by the writings of people like Henry Thoreau, Chris engages in a quest for truth in nature. He travels to the woods of the Pacific Northwest, to the wheat fields of the prairies, and finally to Alaska. He delights in the open spaces, the fresh air and the bright sunshine. While he does not look for danger in the wild, he comes across it. But instead of turning home, Chris stays in the wild, guided by the words of Thoreau, who said, “Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.” Chris is a spiritual pilgrim who like many before him, seeks to find himself, to find truth in the wilderness.
Eugene Peterson in his book, Leap Over a Wall, says everybody, at least anybody who has anything to do with God, spends time in the wilderness.
A few among us like Thoreau, Thomas Merton, and more recently Chris McCandless choose to live in the wilderness.
Many others among us are forced into the wilderness through no choice of our own.
We may not be driven into a literal wilderness, but we may find ourselves in a “wilderness season” where the crutches of our life are removed. Perhaps we find ourselves out of a job, or struggling in school, or in a completely new, unfamiliar place where we haven’t yet found our footing. Or perhaps we experience some kind of physical challenge, or relationship pain, and we find ourselves in the wilderness. We find ourselves in a place of difficulty and loneliness and fear.
This morning we are going to be looking at why God leads his people through the wilderness. After being called to lead his people, we see that Moses spent years in the desert. After his baptism, Jesus spent 40 days in the desert. After was called by God, he more than 3 years in the desert…
And David, after being anointed as the future king, ends up spending time on the wilderness. It seems that those who are called by God are led into the wilderness.
Everybody, at least everyone has anything to do with God, spends some time in the wilderness. And as we look at David’s life this morning, we are going to be looking at why God may lead us into the wilderness, as well…
We see in 1 Sam 16 the prophet Samuel anoints young David as the new king of Israel. Before becoming king, David, while still an adolescent, conquers the arch nemesis of the people of Israel—Goliath. As a result, David became incredibly popular with the people.
Saul, the king of Israel, becomes insanely jealous of David. He tries to murder David on
8 different occasions… In order to save his life, David finds himself fleeing into the desert. He is forced to hide in the rough mountainous terrain of the desert En Gedi with a band of men—who were in debt or discontent and had gathered around David. David finds himself in the wilderness thirsty and tired and living in fear for his life, as he is being hunted down like a wild animal by Saul and three thousand of his troops….
So why is it that God allows David to experience the wilderness? Why does God allow us to experience the wilderness?
One of the reasons why God led David into the wilderness--and one of the reasons God leads us there is because the wilderness provides an opportunity for us to be tested.
If you have your Bibles, please turn to 1 Samuel 24: 1-7.
Saul is threatened by the possibility that David may become the new king of Israel. So after Saul returns from pursuing the Philistines in battle, he turns his attention toward David and begins to hunt him down.
1 After Saul returned from pursuing the Philistines, he was told, "David is in the Desert of En Gedi." 2 So Saul took three thousand able young men from all Israel and set out to look for David and his men near the Crags of the Wild Goats.
3 He came to the sheep pens along the way; a cave was there, and Saul went in to relieve himself. David and his men were far back in the cave. 4 The men said, "This is the day the LORD spoke of when he said to you, 'I will give your enemy into your hands for you to deal with as you wish.' " Then David crept up unnoticed and cut off a corner of Saul's robe.
5 Afterward, David was conscience-stricken for having cut off a corner of his robe. 6 He said to his men, "The LORD forbid that I should do such a thing to my master, the LORD's anointed, or lay my hand on him; for he is the anointed of the LORD." 7 With these words David sharply rebuked his men and did not allow them to attack Saul. And Saul left the cave and went his way.
In the wilderness, David finds himself fleeing for his life. He is hiding out in a cave in the desert of En Gedi. And as he and his band of men are hiding there, what happens? Saul enters into the cave to relieve himself. Saul was literally and figuratively speaking exposed. David’s men urge him to take Saul out—to assassinate him. David creeps up unnoticed, and cut off a corner of Saul’s robe. David is conscience-stricken because he had laid a hand on Saul’s robe and though Saul is not a good man, he is the one whom God did choose as the King of Israel.
David experiences a great test in the wilderness. And in that test, David discovers both weakness and his strength. He felt that he had compromised God’s standard for him in approaching Saul since he was one whom God had anointed king over Israel and cutting off a piece of his robe. He felt he had failed. But David showed integrity by also resisting the temptation to take matters into his own hands and kill Saul. So David, whether he recognized it or not at the time discovered his strength.
In the wilderness--we are tested and experience both our weakness and our strength…
My wife Sakiko, who was born and raised in the largest cities of Japan. She’s the consummate city girl. A couple of years ago, my wife did something that was far different from anything that she had ever done before—she spent 6 days at sea on a modest sailboat with me and a couple of others. She had never been camping before. She had never lived out at sea before. And she said that being out in the Ocean humbled her. It made her realize how small, vulnerable she was, especially when facing forceful winds and high waves. But it also enabled her to see that she was far strength than she thought she had—she was able to survive the experience and it gave her confidence.
The wilderness shows our weakness and our strength…
Jim Murphy a member here at Tenth Avenue Church voluntarily moved into the wilderness (that is, the Arizona Desert) in 2003. I have asked him to come and share part of his experience.
“I was at a point in life where everything was great—an active social life, lots of barbecues, volleyball at the beach… fun times—all part of my life in Vancouver, fun but not fulfilling. I wanted more impact on people’s lives, more fulfilling work, a more powerful life. So I left my friends and family behind to go where I knew almost nobody. I got rid of my TV and spent 2 ½ years of my life in relative solitude. No social life, few friends, hardly any dating at all, and no TV. Every night was the same, Monday or Friday no different, I’d be alone. Very difficult.
There was a particular night I remember well. I had been there about a year and I was in my room writing in my journal when I heard a noise outside. I went outside and there were fireworks in the air. It was New Year’s Eve. I was sad at first, wondering what I was doing in the middle of a desert by myself, in an empty house, in my room on New Year’s Eve, where if I had been back in Vancouver, I probably would have been with friends bringing in the New Year with a big party. Then I thought, ‘Why am I here?
Then I thought, I came here to see if I could more clearly hear God’s voice, to come face to face with who I am, whereas in Vancouver it was easy to hide behind my life and not examine my life. I wanted to live a life worth living, and not when it came time to die, to feel like I didn’t truly live. I looked around at my empty house, and thought, “who does this sort of thing? Am I crazy?” Then I smiled. Because it felt like I was pushing myself to really seek out the person I was born to be.
Henry David Thoreau’s words rang true for me: (read quote)
‘I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary.’
I struggled there in the desert. I got really depressed; I could have come home at any time and started back where I left off at work, but I wasn’t ready to do that, no matter how depressed I became. I wasn’t going back until I felt I had direction for my life—direction that was exciting and powerful… that would I sacrifice everything for.
Somehow, amidst the struggle and loneliness I discovered strength in the desert—a new confidence. “Confidence that I won’t take the easy route to decide; confidence that I am going to take risks—that I will do whatever it takes—that it is far more important I am true to my design than relative success or pleasures. I feel less attached to what others think of me. Going into solitude helped a lot. It’s like I’ve gone 2 ½ years without friends patting me on the back, or whatever. So I am now less concerned what others think, because if you think less of me for some reason, it’s not like I have not been alone before. It’s not like I have not gone without approval before.”
I also gained confidence that I was not a pawn of my environment or my circumstances. So many times many of us feel trapped in our lives, and dropping everything and going there, putting myself in that challenging situation to “put to rout all that was not life” for me was like fasting; it showed that I’m not a slave to my moods or petty wants, that I can put “first things first” and be true to myself, to not be conformed to this world and it’s mediocrity, and through it all, be true to God, so I can truly live.
Jim experienced both struggle and strength in the wilderness. The wilderness is a place where were both the beasts and beauty emerge… Wilderness has a way of testing us. Thoreau wrote, “Those destined for greatness must first walk alone in the desert. Those destined for greatness must first walk alone in the desert.”
And God allows us to experience life in the desert…in the wilderness…so that our character will be tested and refined. Jesus, Moses, Elijah, and David were all led into the wilderness. And many of the people we would consider great today Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela spent significant time on the wilderness.
And if you are destined for greatness, and if you belong to God you are, you will spend time in the wilderness. The wilderness will test you. It will show you your weakness and your strength and it will refine you. And perhaps most important of all, the wilderness will give you the opportunity to open up to God in a new way.
As David was being hunted down by Saul and his army, David came to realize that his only true refuge was to be found in God alone. This fact is expressed over 40 times in the Psalms. In Psalm 18, which is a psalm that David sings to the Lord when he is being hunted down by Saul, David cries out:
I love you, LORD, my strength.
2 The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield [b] and the horn [c] of my salvation, my stronghold.
3 I called to the LORD, who is worthy of praise, and I have been saved from my enemies.
In the wilderness we discover that God alone is our refuge, our hiding place, our shield.
Last week, I was in Boston in meetings with my friend Joanna Mockler… Joanna was sharing that her husband Colman, the then ceo of Gilette died, she woke a couple of weeks, later frozen in bed with fear… she was afraid of what the future…and these words came to mind:
I have set the LORD always before me:
because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.
Therefore my heart is glad, and I rejoices and rests in hope
.
She had not memorized these words, but they came to mind… (she later discovered they were the words from Psalm 16 and she was comforted by God…
And at this time I am going to invite Steve Fielding who is part of our community, as master’s degree student at SFU, to come and share the wilderness experience he has had and how he has found refuge in God.
First off, I’d like to thank Ken for the opportunity to share my story here today.
My story begins when I was sixteen years old, living in Winnipeg, what the locals call Winterpeg, Manisnow-ba, Mosquitoba. I was in what some might consider an ideal situation: I had good grades; ran track and played soccer at the provincial level; played piano and guitar; I had a decent part-time job; and I could rely on a strong network of friends. This idyllic balance was turned on its head. In the fall of ‘96 I decided to be baptized. My church had a custom. The person getting baptized had to choose an “encourager” to speak about his spiritual growth and offer him personal mentorship. The day before my baptism, my encourager showed up at my door with a heavy heart. He explained that while he was praying God revealed to him that I would really suffer if I went through with this baptism. He asked me if I was willing to take the risk. I said “yes,” not knowing what he meant.
Two weeks after my baptism I came down with mononucleosis.
A much more serious setback happened in May of 1997. A group of friends from school and I were spending the weekend at a cottage. The big highlight was a zip-cord line. For those who aren’t familiar, you hold on to a t-bar, which is attached to a pulley that zips down a rope. On my second run something went terribly wrong. About a third of the way down the rope suddenly jammed in the pulley. The force of a sudden stop and my momentum threw me sixteen feet to the forest floor. My lower back struck first, followed by my head. I had three broken vertebrae, bruised lungs, and a concussion. The initial recovery took two-and-a-half months. I completed high school, and then left Winnipeg for university in BC. Then my back pain returned and got worse. It became clear that therapies were not working and that doctors did not have the answers. The pain increased and I was addicted to morphine.
Within a year the pain was so severe that I could not fall asleep at night or keep food down. I was at my end. I wondered how long I could carry on like this.
To make a long story short, at my worst point my parents drove me to the U.S., where I had two successful operations. Finally, after two-and-a-half years of being in bed, I went back to school. Unfortunately, my misfortune did not end there. In the spring of 2003 I was diagnosed with Lupus. Lupus is a mysterious systemic auto-immune condition in which the body attacks it own tissue. It causes chronic fatigue, constant pain, and threatens organs.
This brings me to the present. I now battle two disabilities every day—back pain and Lupus. There is never a minute when I don’t experience pain or chronic fatigue. I have asked a lot questions the past eleven years. Why am I suffering? Why did I only improve to a point? In the Bible we see Jesus heal people 100 percent. I don’t know the answers to these questions. I wish I knew. But I’ve learned some things that I’d like to share with you.
One of the things I’ve learned is that God needs to be praised during our struggles. I remember thinking “Praise him? If this is what God wants, that’s kind of rude, and pretty insensitive actually. I can use some encouragement right now.” Although I was angry I started to read Scripture passages that spoke of His character. As I praised God for who He is, I began to experience God’s presence in a new way and his comfort In the wilderness, I discovered that God is all that I have, so I focus on Him. The other things in life—sports, fun, academics, work—can disappear in a 16-foot fall or a diagnosis.
The wilderness tests us—showing us our weakness and our strength. The wilderness ties us to God. In the wilderness we recognize that God alone is our ultimate refuge…
Pray:
Are in the wilderness—it will not last forever, but pray… faithful in the test and tied to God…
Do you others in the wilderness pray for?
(The sermon can be heard on line at: www.tenth.ca/audio)
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