041113 Sermon on the Mount Sex
Pure Sex: L and A HO
James Joyce in his book A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man describes a young man walking down a beach and seeing a very beautiful, partially clad, young woman bathing at sea. Charged with hormones, he ducks into the rocks to get a good look, but instead of experiencing lust and all kinds of sexual fantasies, to his surprise, he is only in awe of the girl’s beauty. No longing to possess, just sheer admiration of her beauty.
The capacity to admire the beauty on another human being is a God-given gift.
But when the admiration and appreciation for the beauty of another becomes an “over-desire” it becomes a kind of curse. Our love of food, our love of work, our love of relationships are all gifts from God. But when we over-desire food, when we over-love work, when we over-desire a relationship, these gifts become chains.
Jesus is aware of this dynamic and so in his Sermon on the Mount although what is he says about sex may initially sound restrictive--like all of his words--they are ultimately liberating.
Text: Matthew 5:27
27"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.'[5] 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.
(If you’re here for the first time and you’re saying “great” he’s talking about sex and hell; I want to just say we don’t talk about this every Sunday).
Jesus begins the text with the words: you have heard it said you shall not commit adultery…
The word adultery literally means to “break marriage.” To have sex with a person who is married to someone else is to break that person’s marriage covenant. Adultery is primarily a sin against the “innocent partner.” When Bill Clinton had his affair with Monica Lewinsky, many people said it was wrong, many people also said there is nothing wrong with 2 consenting adults being sexually involved. But as Bill Clinton describes in his autobiography, when he woke Hillary up early one morning and told her the truth about what had happened between him and Lewinsky, Bill says, it looked he had punched her in the stomach. Mrs. Clinton, who is a very liberal, “progressive” woman, did not look at her husband and say as long as it was mutually consensual, “no problem.” She looked as if she had punched been punched in the gut.
Adultery is the sin of breaking a marriage covenant, a marriage covenant, which according to Malachi 2, which has been witnessed by God.
Jesus was aware that is possible to “technically” not commit adultery, to “technically” not have sexual intercourse with someone but to break the spirit of the law against adultery.
This is why Jesus says 27"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
This seems like an impossible command to keep.
Is Jesus saying in this text that if we look at a human being and experience some sort of sexual attraction we’ve sinned? No. The Bible shows us in the Song of Solomon that our sexuality is a gift from God.
So what does Jesus mean when he prohibits lust here?
If you look at Greek text… you’ll see that when Jesus says anyone who looks lustfully at a woman is saying anyone who looks and continues to look, i.e., anyone stares… in order to… lust (lust means or over-desire) has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Stares, in order to, over-desire).
As we saw earlier in the picture from James Joyce’s novel, it’s possible to have a healthy attraction, a healthy sense of awe with the beauty of another human being.
But it is also possible to go beyond pure appreciation and to stare at someone in order to over desire so that want to possess that person?
(Transition)
So what is the difference between lust and love?
Presbyterian minister Tim Keller says lust makes us want an experience, love makes us want a person, lust makes you want pleasure, love makes you want a person, lust makes you want women or men in general, love makes you want a particular woman or man.
C.S. Lewis, the Oxford scholar, says it’s poor use of langue to talk about a man on the “prowl” and say “he wants a woman”; he says that’s not the best way to put it, he wants pleasure, he wants a sexual thrill…and woman is simply a piece of apparatus to help him get that thrill. (Transition)
Why is it inappropriate to sexually unite with someone that you’re not committed to? Why does God say we are not to unite sexually with someone that we’re not in a permanent, exclusive covenant with? Why does God say that he designed sex for people who have committed themselves in the permanent, exclusive covenant of marriage?
The reason: sex was designed by God as a powerful, unitive act, designed to unite not only our body with another person, but also our soul and spirit.
God designed sex such that when we came to together with someone physically, there’s is powerful force that also makes us want to unite emotionally and spiritually—with the other person as well.
Sex was created by God such that that when you gave yourself wholly to someone physically, you want wanted to give yourself to that person in every other way as well.
Given the fact that God created sex as such a powerful bonding agent, it makes sense that it is only appropriate for a person who’s committed himself/herself to another person in the context of life-long covenant.
I know our culture does not hold this view of sex. Most view sex as a primarily as physical act and many as a causal act.
But even in our culture which tends to regard sex as physical and “causal,” people don’t see sexual abuse as being causal. People who have been sexually violated or people who have sisters, daughters, sons, or loved ones who have been sexually abused don’t tend to talk that experience as being causal. So even our very liberal culture does consistently talk about sexual experience as casual.
God did not design sex as a casual activity, but as a powerful bonder that be can uniquely life-giving if used in a way that’s consistent with God’s design, but can be devastating if abused.
(Transition)
Virtually, every ancient culture in history, even those we might call primitive and wild had taboos, certain prohibitions around sex—because they recognized sex as fire, as something to be respected.
We don’t tend to have many taboos in our culture; we live in a age of immediate gratification: As Gwen Stefani sings in her hit single, “Like a cat in heat… what you waiting for?”
This “What you waiting for” culture of instant gratification, makes us more susceptible to many things including the instant “high” of drugs.
The late professor of political philosophy at University of Chicago Allan Bloom, speaks of how the ecstasy of drugs; artificially induces exaltation traditionally associated with life’s greatest endeavors, victory in a just battle, artistic creation, discovery of truth.
Bloom says in his experience as a teacher he finds that students who have a serious fling with drugs and get over it… find it difficult to have enthusiasm and great expectations… it’s like color has been drained out of their life.
When we instantly induce the pleasures of sex through pornography or casual sex, we can experience something that feels similar to the pleasures of sex traditionally associated the consummation of mature love in the context of a loving, covenant relationship, but when we prematurely induce this kind of sexual pleasure, like using drugs, we diminish it’s life giving powers.
Jesus teaching is so organic.
If you’re here and you’ve already been compromised because of pornography or being involved in sexual relationships outside of marriage, know that God forgives and heals (healing may take time: if this a struggle area for you I’d commend to you courses like Living Waters, Cross Current, S.A.L.T. which are listed in the program).
I have a very good friend. He had gotten engaged to a woman. I ask my friend, who is a Christian. Are tempted to go “to far” with Julie (not her real name)? Are you struggling with sexual temptations with her?
He said, I’ve talked with Julie, and we’ve decided that all we’ll do hold hands. Maybe an occassional good night kiss, but just a peck. He said I was not a Christian in high school and I was sexually active back then. We want to save ourselves for our wedding day.
Have you heard the expression, “second virginity”? I believe this is a helpful term, particularly if you are in a relationship with Christ. Because the Bibles says in Christ we become new people, the old is gone the new is come. In the book of Lamentations ch. 3 we read the mercies of God are new every morning.
As we close I want to talk about some practical matters which arise out of out text. Jesus says:
29If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.
Jesus here is urging us to use drastic measures against sexual temptations. We’ve talked about sex as fire. If you’re cooking something over the stove and suddenly flames break out in the pot while you’re cooking… what do you do? You take a quick action to cover that flame. Occasionally on America’s Funniest Home Videos, they show a footage of a woman in a wedding who has obviously overdone the hairspray and gets too close to the unity candles and what happens? Woosh! What do people do…? They start to frantically try to put it. They don’t say, “there, there” “little fire… settle down”
If we’re dealing with the fire of sexual temptation, we deal drastically with it.
Some years ago, I was on a trip and in my hotel room. I started channel surfing and came on a scene I that I sensed was about to get real steamy and sexual… I was ohh and I surfed off the channel, but in the back of my mind… I am wondering, are they are now really “going for it,” I channel surf all the way around back to the scene…. Yuh, there pretty much going go for it… channel surf off, then I think as a minister I have to have a good idea of what happening in the larger culture, this is my part of education surf back on to it… you see how easy, I can rationalize?
Now, when I travel, I have a policy of never turning on the TV. I know of some guys who ask the hotel to remove the TV from there room.
There are times when I really want to know the score of a game is. I seem to always be away during the World Series. I just wait and read the paper the next day. Or I call home and ask Sakiko what was the score? How many are out, who’s batting, the pitch count?
For me TV in a hotel room is a temptation, for me. Maybe for you it’s the internet. By the way, porn on the internet, scares the hell out of me… because I know if I go to a porn site, it releases certain chemicals in my brain, that will bring temporary feelings of elation like a drug, but next time if want to get that same level of pleasure, I will need a just little more porn to get the same pleasure--this is how addiction develops. Once your body becomes dependent on a release of certain chemicals in your brain, you’re trapped.
I remind us that Jesus and who looks in order to? You ever channel or flipping through a magazine of some kind hoping to accidental come across a sexy image? Jesus seems to warn against not just lust, but against the activity of looking for lust. That’s why boundaries are so important.
Don’t deal with fire casually; construct your fire walls with a vengeance. If you are tempted by magazines don’t go to rack, if you’re tend fall through movies, don’t watch certain movies, if you tend to fall with certain people do hang with that kind of person—
Put up boundaries and “fire walls” to deal with sexual temptations: Then in healthy expose yourself to beauty.
The ancients spoke of sexual desires as “immortal longings.” We don’t hear that expression today. We talk being horny or being in the mood. But have these longings to connect, to unite with another, are echos of our longing to connect with God.
Chesterton said, every man who knocks on the door or a brothel is looking for God.
If we are deprived of a healthy connection with God, people, and beauty, we will tend to try to fill to void: with something unhealthy… it may be drugs, it may certain foods, or it may be something sexual.
Are times in the rhythms of your week or year when you feel particularly empty and blah and are therefore vulnerable to sexual temptation? What will you do about it? In Alcoholics Anonymous in AA: they before you make any decisions that could be harmful; They say use H.A.L.T. Ask you Hungry, Are you Angry, Are you Lonely, Are you Tired? Fix these situations before you make any decisions.
If we are hungry or angry, or lonely or tired or we just feel like crap, we are much more susceptible to sex temptation. Bill Clinton said he made a number of mistakes in his personal life because he was so angry and tired. He’s said there were times when I was so tired, I could not lift up my arms.
If you’re we are struggling with sexual temptations one of the most helpful things we can do is to get enough rest, relaxation. One of the best things we do can is to expose ourselves to the beauty of God, the beauty of life-giving friendship, the beauty of nature, the beauty of art.
In Greek mythology, Homer tells bout the enchanting Isle of the Sirens, where there were beautiful creatures part human, part bird and these Siren creatures sang melodies so beautifully that any person who heard them would become enchanted. Passing sailors who heard the Sirens' songs would hurl themselves overboard and swim to the island of the Sirens. Lured by these strange maidens the men would die upon the jagged rocks around the Isle.
So when Odysseus was about to pass the Isle of the Siren by ship ordered his men to plug their ears with beeswax and then he ordered his men to tie him to the ship's mast so he would not jump into the sea and swim ashore.
But when the Greater Adventurer Jason, needed to sail past the Isle of the Sirens He invited the greatest of all musicians was named Orpheus to come with him.
When the time came when Jason and the Argonauts had to sail past the dangerous isle of the Sirens, Jason had Orphesus play more beautiful music than the Siren and they were able to sail past the island unharmed.
In sexual tempation there are times when we fill our brother ears with beeswax and tie him to a mast—that’s constructing boundary. But, in over coming sexual temptation there are also times when we expose to music of Orpheus, a greater beauty, the music of Jesus Christ, the beauty of friendship, the beauty of art.
Lastly I would encourage you to use a buddy system. A.A. has used the buddy system for years. When you’re tempted to have a drink, you’ll call your buddy. Are you hungry, angry, lonely, tired. It helps. It really helps.
About 10 years ago I went through a thing called Arrow Leadership, a training program for young Christian leaders. During that time there a number of high profile Christian leaders who had fallen sexually and I remember we talked about that. I remember a pastor named Waxer a surfer from Hawaii, said, the reason why so many are falling is because we care more about our reputation than our character.
His comment influenced me to do to get in a regular habit of confessing to a friends whenever I FEEL I’ve been sexually compromised in some way.
A number of years ago I was in a situation where I was on a trip and a woman showed up unannounced at my hotel about 12:30 a.m. or 1:00 a.m. at night and wanted to come up to my room… I ended up saying NO, but inside, I was waffling and I told this to a friend afterwards, he said if you should have called me.
Ever since then, I said if I ever I am facing sexual temptation, I’ll call that friend or a friend. Fast forward a couple of years.
I am single and living in a different city. A woman, who I hear through a friend of hers has a romantic interest in me, calls me and says she want to I have dinner at your place. I’ll bring dinner. I’m silent on the other end of the phone… She says, I don’t bite. Okay you bring a friend with you and you’re welcome to come. Fine. As it turned, out her friend who was planning come with her, had to cancel. She says, I am coming over. I’m not taking no for answer. She comes over and says several times, don’t worry, I’m not going to bite you.
Then later that evening. She says, I don’t feel like driving home tonight. It’s been such a long day. Do you mind if I stay the night?
At the point, I get up and I say, I need to make a phone call. I phone a friend in Chicago and explain this situation… part of me is thinking: I have a bad feeling about her staying the night; but if I tell her to go home, she’s going to think I am so cold… see how distorted my thinking is getting? My friend says it’s not appropriate (esp. given your profession) for her stay the night, you can ask to leave…. My friend helped to gain clarity and the courage, to say you can’t stay the night tonight.
She didn’t. If she stays the night, probably nothing happens. But my friend helps to make sure that I wasn’t exposed to that possibility.
Buddies help us get perspective:
My colleague Don Cowie, now the lead pastor of Mosaic, a church plant that has emerged knows about the power of openness in dealing with sexual temptation and I’ve asked him to share.
Some years ago, I read an article about a Christian who was obsessed with sex.
One day he reread Jesus words in this extraordinary sermon, “Blessed are the pure in heart… for they will see God. I want to see God and sin blocking my vision of the one for whom I was said.
Why be pure? Because if honor we honor our design and we’re free and because we will be able in heart will see God.
If you’re here today and you’re struggling with sexual temptation or think it could become an area of struggle, you say I want the grace of God to make me pure, will you quietly stand and I’ll pray for you.
If you’re here your and this is not an area of temptation or if you’re here like Augustine who prayed God make me pure, but not yet, I’m NOT talking to you, but if here and this is a struggle and you want to be free quietly stand… it’s hard to stand, but it’s harder to overcome, so I’m asking you do something hard for a reason…
041113 Sermon on the Mount - Sex
Pray Ezekiel: 36
25 I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. 26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. 27 And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.
Song: Merciful God, Purify My Heart, Whatever is Pure…
End of the service announcements:
If you’re struggling with sexual temptation: it probably didn’t happen overnight and your healing will not likely be over night: we have a variety of courses on sexual healing: Living Waters, SALT, Cross Current: Mardi staff member and Toni Dolfo Smith her husband a course of who relate to others later this month North Shore Alliance details in the program…
Closing prayer: John Donne:
Take me to you, imprison me, for I
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.
James Joyce in his book A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man describes a young man walking down a beach and seeing a very beautiful, partially clad, young woman bathing at sea. Charged with hormones, he ducks into the rocks to get a good look, but instead of experiencing lust and all kinds of sexual fantasies, to his surprise, he is only in awe of the girl’s beauty. No longing to possess, just sheer admiration of her beauty.
The capacity to admire the beauty on another human being is a God-given gift.
But when the admiration and appreciation for the beauty of another becomes an “over-desire” it becomes a kind of curse. Our love of food, our love of work, our love of relationships are all gifts from God. But when we over-desire food, when we over-love work, when we over-desire a relationship, these gifts become chains.
Jesus is aware of this dynamic and so in his Sermon on the Mount although what is he says about sex may initially sound restrictive--like all of his words--they are ultimately liberating.
Text: Matthew 5:27
27"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.'[5] 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.
(If you’re here for the first time and you’re saying “great” he’s talking about sex and hell; I want to just say we don’t talk about this every Sunday).
Jesus begins the text with the words: you have heard it said you shall not commit adultery…
The word adultery literally means to “break marriage.” To have sex with a person who is married to someone else is to break that person’s marriage covenant. Adultery is primarily a sin against the “innocent partner.” When Bill Clinton had his affair with Monica Lewinsky, many people said it was wrong, many people also said there is nothing wrong with 2 consenting adults being sexually involved. But as Bill Clinton describes in his autobiography, when he woke Hillary up early one morning and told her the truth about what had happened between him and Lewinsky, Bill says, it looked he had punched her in the stomach. Mrs. Clinton, who is a very liberal, “progressive” woman, did not look at her husband and say as long as it was mutually consensual, “no problem.” She looked as if she had punched been punched in the gut.
Adultery is the sin of breaking a marriage covenant, a marriage covenant, which according to Malachi 2, which has been witnessed by God.
Jesus was aware that is possible to “technically” not commit adultery, to “technically” not have sexual intercourse with someone but to break the spirit of the law against adultery.
This is why Jesus says 27"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
This seems like an impossible command to keep.
Is Jesus saying in this text that if we look at a human being and experience some sort of sexual attraction we’ve sinned? No. The Bible shows us in the Song of Solomon that our sexuality is a gift from God.
So what does Jesus mean when he prohibits lust here?
If you look at Greek text… you’ll see that when Jesus says anyone who looks lustfully at a woman is saying anyone who looks and continues to look, i.e., anyone stares… in order to… lust (lust means or over-desire) has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Stares, in order to, over-desire).
As we saw earlier in the picture from James Joyce’s novel, it’s possible to have a healthy attraction, a healthy sense of awe with the beauty of another human being.
But it is also possible to go beyond pure appreciation and to stare at someone in order to over desire so that want to possess that person?
(Transition)
So what is the difference between lust and love?
Presbyterian minister Tim Keller says lust makes us want an experience, love makes us want a person, lust makes you want pleasure, love makes you want a person, lust makes you want women or men in general, love makes you want a particular woman or man.
C.S. Lewis, the Oxford scholar, says it’s poor use of langue to talk about a man on the “prowl” and say “he wants a woman”; he says that’s not the best way to put it, he wants pleasure, he wants a sexual thrill…and woman is simply a piece of apparatus to help him get that thrill. (Transition)
Why is it inappropriate to sexually unite with someone that you’re not committed to? Why does God say we are not to unite sexually with someone that we’re not in a permanent, exclusive covenant with? Why does God say that he designed sex for people who have committed themselves in the permanent, exclusive covenant of marriage?
The reason: sex was designed by God as a powerful, unitive act, designed to unite not only our body with another person, but also our soul and spirit.
God designed sex such that when we came to together with someone physically, there’s is powerful force that also makes us want to unite emotionally and spiritually—with the other person as well.
Sex was created by God such that that when you gave yourself wholly to someone physically, you want wanted to give yourself to that person in every other way as well.
Given the fact that God created sex as such a powerful bonding agent, it makes sense that it is only appropriate for a person who’s committed himself/herself to another person in the context of life-long covenant.
I know our culture does not hold this view of sex. Most view sex as a primarily as physical act and many as a causal act.
But even in our culture which tends to regard sex as physical and “causal,” people don’t see sexual abuse as being causal. People who have been sexually violated or people who have sisters, daughters, sons, or loved ones who have been sexually abused don’t tend to talk that experience as being causal. So even our very liberal culture does consistently talk about sexual experience as casual.
God did not design sex as a casual activity, but as a powerful bonder that be can uniquely life-giving if used in a way that’s consistent with God’s design, but can be devastating if abused.
(Transition)
Virtually, every ancient culture in history, even those we might call primitive and wild had taboos, certain prohibitions around sex—because they recognized sex as fire, as something to be respected.
We don’t tend to have many taboos in our culture; we live in a age of immediate gratification: As Gwen Stefani sings in her hit single, “Like a cat in heat… what you waiting for?”
This “What you waiting for” culture of instant gratification, makes us more susceptible to many things including the instant “high” of drugs.
The late professor of political philosophy at University of Chicago Allan Bloom, speaks of how the ecstasy of drugs; artificially induces exaltation traditionally associated with life’s greatest endeavors, victory in a just battle, artistic creation, discovery of truth.
Bloom says in his experience as a teacher he finds that students who have a serious fling with drugs and get over it… find it difficult to have enthusiasm and great expectations… it’s like color has been drained out of their life.
When we instantly induce the pleasures of sex through pornography or casual sex, we can experience something that feels similar to the pleasures of sex traditionally associated the consummation of mature love in the context of a loving, covenant relationship, but when we prematurely induce this kind of sexual pleasure, like using drugs, we diminish it’s life giving powers.
Jesus teaching is so organic.
If you’re here and you’ve already been compromised because of pornography or being involved in sexual relationships outside of marriage, know that God forgives and heals (healing may take time: if this a struggle area for you I’d commend to you courses like Living Waters, Cross Current, S.A.L.T. which are listed in the program).
I have a very good friend. He had gotten engaged to a woman. I ask my friend, who is a Christian. Are tempted to go “to far” with Julie (not her real name)? Are you struggling with sexual temptations with her?
He said, I’ve talked with Julie, and we’ve decided that all we’ll do hold hands. Maybe an occassional good night kiss, but just a peck. He said I was not a Christian in high school and I was sexually active back then. We want to save ourselves for our wedding day.
Have you heard the expression, “second virginity”? I believe this is a helpful term, particularly if you are in a relationship with Christ. Because the Bibles says in Christ we become new people, the old is gone the new is come. In the book of Lamentations ch. 3 we read the mercies of God are new every morning.
As we close I want to talk about some practical matters which arise out of out text. Jesus says:
29If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.
Jesus here is urging us to use drastic measures against sexual temptations. We’ve talked about sex as fire. If you’re cooking something over the stove and suddenly flames break out in the pot while you’re cooking… what do you do? You take a quick action to cover that flame. Occasionally on America’s Funniest Home Videos, they show a footage of a woman in a wedding who has obviously overdone the hairspray and gets too close to the unity candles and what happens? Woosh! What do people do…? They start to frantically try to put it. They don’t say, “there, there” “little fire… settle down”
If we’re dealing with the fire of sexual temptation, we deal drastically with it.
Some years ago, I was on a trip and in my hotel room. I started channel surfing and came on a scene I that I sensed was about to get real steamy and sexual… I was ohh and I surfed off the channel, but in the back of my mind… I am wondering, are they are now really “going for it,” I channel surf all the way around back to the scene…. Yuh, there pretty much going go for it… channel surf off, then I think as a minister I have to have a good idea of what happening in the larger culture, this is my part of education surf back on to it… you see how easy, I can rationalize?
Now, when I travel, I have a policy of never turning on the TV. I know of some guys who ask the hotel to remove the TV from there room.
There are times when I really want to know the score of a game is. I seem to always be away during the World Series. I just wait and read the paper the next day. Or I call home and ask Sakiko what was the score? How many are out, who’s batting, the pitch count?
For me TV in a hotel room is a temptation, for me. Maybe for you it’s the internet. By the way, porn on the internet, scares the hell out of me… because I know if I go to a porn site, it releases certain chemicals in my brain, that will bring temporary feelings of elation like a drug, but next time if want to get that same level of pleasure, I will need a just little more porn to get the same pleasure--this is how addiction develops. Once your body becomes dependent on a release of certain chemicals in your brain, you’re trapped.
I remind us that Jesus and who looks in order to? You ever channel or flipping through a magazine of some kind hoping to accidental come across a sexy image? Jesus seems to warn against not just lust, but against the activity of looking for lust. That’s why boundaries are so important.
Don’t deal with fire casually; construct your fire walls with a vengeance. If you are tempted by magazines don’t go to rack, if you’re tend fall through movies, don’t watch certain movies, if you tend to fall with certain people do hang with that kind of person—
Put up boundaries and “fire walls” to deal with sexual temptations: Then in healthy expose yourself to beauty.
The ancients spoke of sexual desires as “immortal longings.” We don’t hear that expression today. We talk being horny or being in the mood. But have these longings to connect, to unite with another, are echos of our longing to connect with God.
Chesterton said, every man who knocks on the door or a brothel is looking for God.
If we are deprived of a healthy connection with God, people, and beauty, we will tend to try to fill to void: with something unhealthy… it may be drugs, it may certain foods, or it may be something sexual.
Are times in the rhythms of your week or year when you feel particularly empty and blah and are therefore vulnerable to sexual temptation? What will you do about it? In Alcoholics Anonymous in AA: they before you make any decisions that could be harmful; They say use H.A.L.T. Ask you Hungry, Are you Angry, Are you Lonely, Are you Tired? Fix these situations before you make any decisions.
If we are hungry or angry, or lonely or tired or we just feel like crap, we are much more susceptible to sex temptation. Bill Clinton said he made a number of mistakes in his personal life because he was so angry and tired. He’s said there were times when I was so tired, I could not lift up my arms.
If you’re we are struggling with sexual temptations one of the most helpful things we can do is to get enough rest, relaxation. One of the best things we do can is to expose ourselves to the beauty of God, the beauty of life-giving friendship, the beauty of nature, the beauty of art.
In Greek mythology, Homer tells bout the enchanting Isle of the Sirens, where there were beautiful creatures part human, part bird and these Siren creatures sang melodies so beautifully that any person who heard them would become enchanted. Passing sailors who heard the Sirens' songs would hurl themselves overboard and swim to the island of the Sirens. Lured by these strange maidens the men would die upon the jagged rocks around the Isle.
So when Odysseus was about to pass the Isle of the Siren by ship ordered his men to plug their ears with beeswax and then he ordered his men to tie him to the ship's mast so he would not jump into the sea and swim ashore.
But when the Greater Adventurer Jason, needed to sail past the Isle of the Sirens He invited the greatest of all musicians was named Orpheus to come with him.
When the time came when Jason and the Argonauts had to sail past the dangerous isle of the Sirens, Jason had Orphesus play more beautiful music than the Siren and they were able to sail past the island unharmed.
In sexual tempation there are times when we fill our brother ears with beeswax and tie him to a mast—that’s constructing boundary. But, in over coming sexual temptation there are also times when we expose to music of Orpheus, a greater beauty, the music of Jesus Christ, the beauty of friendship, the beauty of art.
Lastly I would encourage you to use a buddy system. A.A. has used the buddy system for years. When you’re tempted to have a drink, you’ll call your buddy. Are you hungry, angry, lonely, tired. It helps. It really helps.
About 10 years ago I went through a thing called Arrow Leadership, a training program for young Christian leaders. During that time there a number of high profile Christian leaders who had fallen sexually and I remember we talked about that. I remember a pastor named Waxer a surfer from Hawaii, said, the reason why so many are falling is because we care more about our reputation than our character.
His comment influenced me to do to get in a regular habit of confessing to a friends whenever I FEEL I’ve been sexually compromised in some way.
A number of years ago I was in a situation where I was on a trip and a woman showed up unannounced at my hotel about 12:30 a.m. or 1:00 a.m. at night and wanted to come up to my room… I ended up saying NO, but inside, I was waffling and I told this to a friend afterwards, he said if you should have called me.
Ever since then, I said if I ever I am facing sexual temptation, I’ll call that friend or a friend. Fast forward a couple of years.
I am single and living in a different city. A woman, who I hear through a friend of hers has a romantic interest in me, calls me and says she want to I have dinner at your place. I’ll bring dinner. I’m silent on the other end of the phone… She says, I don’t bite. Okay you bring a friend with you and you’re welcome to come. Fine. As it turned, out her friend who was planning come with her, had to cancel. She says, I am coming over. I’m not taking no for answer. She comes over and says several times, don’t worry, I’m not going to bite you.
Then later that evening. She says, I don’t feel like driving home tonight. It’s been such a long day. Do you mind if I stay the night?
At the point, I get up and I say, I need to make a phone call. I phone a friend in Chicago and explain this situation… part of me is thinking: I have a bad feeling about her staying the night; but if I tell her to go home, she’s going to think I am so cold… see how distorted my thinking is getting? My friend says it’s not appropriate (esp. given your profession) for her stay the night, you can ask to leave…. My friend helped to gain clarity and the courage, to say you can’t stay the night tonight.
She didn’t. If she stays the night, probably nothing happens. But my friend helps to make sure that I wasn’t exposed to that possibility.
Buddies help us get perspective:
My colleague Don Cowie, now the lead pastor of Mosaic, a church plant that has emerged knows about the power of openness in dealing with sexual temptation and I’ve asked him to share.
Some years ago, I read an article about a Christian who was obsessed with sex.
One day he reread Jesus words in this extraordinary sermon, “Blessed are the pure in heart… for they will see God. I want to see God and sin blocking my vision of the one for whom I was said.
Why be pure? Because if honor we honor our design and we’re free and because we will be able in heart will see God.
If you’re here today and you’re struggling with sexual temptation or think it could become an area of struggle, you say I want the grace of God to make me pure, will you quietly stand and I’ll pray for you.
If you’re here your and this is not an area of temptation or if you’re here like Augustine who prayed God make me pure, but not yet, I’m NOT talking to you, but if here and this is a struggle and you want to be free quietly stand… it’s hard to stand, but it’s harder to overcome, so I’m asking you do something hard for a reason…
041113 Sermon on the Mount - Sex
Pray Ezekiel: 36
25 I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. 26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. 27 And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.
Song: Merciful God, Purify My Heart, Whatever is Pure…
End of the service announcements:
If you’re struggling with sexual temptation: it probably didn’t happen overnight and your healing will not likely be over night: we have a variety of courses on sexual healing: Living Waters, SALT, Cross Current: Mardi staff member and Toni Dolfo Smith her husband a course of who relate to others later this month North Shore Alliance details in the program…
Closing prayer: John Donne:
Take me to you, imprison me, for I
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.
posted by Shigematsu at 9:28 PM
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